


there's a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in

by mindtravelsx



Series: Harry/Severus Works [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Not Canon Compliant
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2019-07-14 21:12:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 31,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16048652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mindtravelsx/pseuds/mindtravelsx
Summary: Harry just stared blankly at the Professor, tears he couldn’t stop still streaming down his face, while he waited for Snape to tell him off, insult him, deduct house points - whatever, but nothing came.---Harry feels lost after the Battle at the Ministry, then the Professor he hates (or, should hate) most comes along.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hihi , I wrote this a few days ago when I had an off day , hope you like it ! ˆˆ
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> _I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story._

Harry let himself drop on the ground in the dark, empty corridor, drawing his legs up and his back resting against a cold wall. He rested his forehead on his knees, arms coming around to hold his legs up. 

Harry felt a lone tear run down his cheek and he bit his lip hard to prevent other tears from escaping, but to no avail. A sob wrecked through him and Harry folded his body further into himself, seeking comfort. Wetness streaked along his cheeks, as tears seemed to escape to no end, his shoulders shaking. 

He couldn’t do it anymore, he just couldn’t. 

Everyone seemed to expect so much from him - no, they expect a lot from the Boy Who Lived, not Harry per say. Since the moment of his birth - even more so when the moment the Killing Curse Voldemort had cast, had backfired - Harry was set to defeat Voldemort. It never occurred to anyone that Harry Potter was just a teenage boy. A teenage boy who’d lost his parents, who’d been raised by his muggle aunt and uncle - both of whom hated him with a passion. A teenage boy, who’d found an escape in the Wizarding World, with people who cared about him - or seemed to care about him, one he was slowly but surely losing as well. 

But, no, Harry Potter, a boy, must defeat the Dark Wizard who no one - not even specialized, adult wizards - had been able to even catch, not to mention defeat. 

His ill fate had already cost the lives of his parents when he’d just been a bit over a year old, it brought - and still brings - danger to everyone who gets involved with him, even in the slightest. And today, his fate had cost the life of Sirius - who’d been someone to a fatherly figure in his life, someone he hadn’t known he needed until it was too late. If he’d been just that tiniest bit earlier, if Harry had been able to close his mind off from Voldemort, if - too many if’s. 

Harry just needed everything to end. The expectations, the following orders, the bringing people’s lives in danger, the losing people he cares about, just - _everything._

Harry dug his blunt nails into his legs, as he gasped for breath through the loud sobs that escaped his mouth. 

Suddenly, a warm hand rested on Harry’s shoulder - startling him, and he looked up with tear streaked, puffy cheeks to see Professor Snape standing above him. Because, of-fucking-course, that’s all he needed on top of everything as well - the Professor who hated him most in this school to find him crying his eyes out in the middle of a corridor, after curfew.

Harry just stared blankly at the Professor, tears he couldn’t stop still streaming down his face, while he waited for Snape to tell him off, insult him, deduct house points - whatever, but nothing came. Instead, to Harry’s biggest surprise, the Professor came to sit down next to Harry, leaning his back against the wall. Their arms and thighs were touching, heat emanating from Snape’s body. 

Harry looked at the Professor from the corner of his eye, hands coming up to wipe the wetness away from his cheeks - only for it to become wet again due to some excess tears escaping his eyes. _What was happening?_

After some moments, a soft voice cut through the silence, a slight edge to the tone, “I’m sorry about your godfather.” Harry snapped his head up at the apology, eyeing his Professor for any mockery. Snape turned to look at Harry, “I might not have liked him,” - understatement of the year, Harry thought - “but, I know what it’s like to lose someone you care deeply about.” Harry only nodded, not knowing how to respond to the softer side his usually stoic Professor was showing, silence engulfing them once more.

Harry heard Snape sigh and he turned his head, seeing Snape make move to get up. “Wait,” Harry heard himself say, Snape stopped in his movements to look at him, “I-,” Harry began. _He what, exactly? I don’t want you to go? I want you to stay? I feel better when you are sitting next to me, when I can feel the warmth radiating of your body, which strangely comforts me, even though I know you hate me and I supposedly hate you? - And when did that happen, where did that come from?_

Harry shook his head, clearing away those thoughts and coming back to reality to see Snape staring at him with a raised eyebrow. “Could you - not go yet?” Harry asked softly, uncertainly. He let his eyes drop, but from the corner of his eyes he saw Snape get up. His shoulders drooped, of course Snape wouldn’t care, wouldn’t stay. Snape probably didn’t mean anything he said before either. Without knowing why or being able to stop it, Harry felt his eyes water again, heart clenching slightly. 

A hand appearing in his vision startled him and he flicked his gaze up to see Snape standing there, hand held out and an expectant look on his face. Harry looked at the hand, looking back up to Snape. 

“C’mon,” Snape said. 

Harry looked at the hand once more, before sliding his in it, feeling his heart swell a bit at the touch. 

-

Moments later, Harry found himself in Snape’s private quarters, both nursing a cup of warm tea as they sat quietly - but, surprisingly comfortably - in Snape’s living room. Harry was huddled on the sofa with some soft cushions in his back and some covers thrown across him, and Snape was seated deftly in the chair across from the sofa.

And, as he looked up at Snape through hooded eyes, feeling himself drift off on the soft sofa, hearing a “This never happened, Potter,” escaping the Professor’s mouth as said Professor came over to sit beside him on the sofa, a warm hand carding through his hair, he felt his body and heart warm a bit. 

His mind was still buzzing with too many thoughts, but right here - right now, he let the calm and care of Snape (and the surprise of all of it) wash over him, shutting himself off from all the negativity going on in his mind. 

And, Harry’s eyes drifted shut, as he - after a long time - felt sleep taking over him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooo, loves ! 
> 
> First of all, I want to thank you for the comments I've got on the previous chapter,, and the several requests to continue it made my day ! So thank you so so much, you guys are amazing ! <33 
> 
> So here's the second chapter, hope you like it ! ^^ x
> 
>  
> 
> _I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story._

The next morning Harry woke slowly, eyes opening drowsily. Harry wriggled a bit, stretching his arms above his head, before frowning - instant panic building within him. The bed he was on didn’t feel like his bed in the Gryffindor dorms - the bed underneath his body was soft, the covers silky and warm in contrast to the cold air surrounding him. 

Harry froze, memories from last night rushing into his mind - the Battle at the Ministry, Sirius getting killed, facing Voldemort, Harry crying in a corridor, Snape comforting him and taking him back to his private quarters where Harry must have fallen asleep. Harry vaguely remembers the warmth and comfort he had felt from the man, vaguely remembers a hand carding through his hair. He shook his head - Snape would never to that, would never allow himself to act that way, probably never acted that way. Not to mention the immense hatred the man held towards Harry.

Harry brought his hands up to rub his eyes, noticing that his glasses were missing and he looks around - vision fuzzy - before he spots something akin to his glasses on a nightstand next to the bed. He reached for it, missing a few times, before he patted along the nightstand with his hand, his fingers enclosing around the ear of his glasses. He put them on his face, vision clearing immediately, and starts to take in his surroundings. 

The first thing Harry notices was that the room was small and dark - no surprise in the latter, Harry thought briefly. A simple, brown cupboard stood against the wall on his right. A desk was neatly placed against a wall opposite of the bed Harry was lying on, which was stood in the middle of the room - headboard against the wall behind him.

Harry threw the dark green covers from his body and stood up from the bed, shivering from the cold air, and he looked down his body - he was still wearing the same clothes as yesterday evening.

He walked out of the door, which led him back into - what looked like - the living room. The room was coated in soft colours, which surprised Harry. Harry spotted a brown sofa, two brown chairs, a glass coffee table, wooden bookshelves along the walls and in the corner was a Fireplace in which a soft fire illuminated, wood crackling, warming the room and Harry’s shivering and cold skin. 

Harry stepped further into the room, a bit mesmerized by the cosiness and lightness of the room, and surprising himself when a feeling of home settled in his chest - _what?_ \- when a throat clearing behind him startled him and he turned swiftly to see his Professor. Snape wore some dark pants and a white button up and was standing at another doorway - next to the one Harry had come out of. Harry guessed that it must be Snape’s own room. 

“Mr. Potter, glad to see you’re finally awake,” the man drawled and Harry felt his cheeks heat a bit, both from the fact that he’d allowed himself to be vulnerable in front of this man in particular, had fallen asleep even, and that he’d been caught exploring the Professor’s quarters to subsequently stare at the man, “if you’d like, there is breakfast on the table in the kitchen.” Harry startled, Snape was offering him breakfast? 

Harry watched as Snape gestured his hand to the right, Harry guessed in the direction of the kitchen.  
“I suppose after having fed yourself, you’ll be able to let yourself out?” And, that was Snape, discarding him and whatever had transpired. Harry ignored the slight clenching within him - he must be hungry. 

Harry nodded, “Very well,” the Potions Master drawled. The Professor was about to turn, but Harry opened his mouth. After all, he did have a good sleep, for once, and did find comfort - strangely enough. 

“Professor?” he asked softly. The man looked at him, raising an eyebrow in impatience when Harry kept quiet and looked down, hands wringing. 

“I just wanted to thank you, sir,” Harry brought out, and he looked up at Snape, “for yesterday and everything,” he finished lamely, his cheeks warm. 

“Right, yes, Mr. Potter, don’t get used to it,” Snape answered dismissively and Harry nodded, sighing a bit, but Snape was already turning back and slamming the door behind him. A feeling of disappointment settled in the pit of Harry’s stomach at Snape’s statement and behaviour, and Harry furrowed his brows at himself. _What the hell, why was he so disappointed?_

Harry walked to the kitchen in a daze, picking up one of the sandwiches on the table. He took a small bite, walking towards the front door to let himself out, as Snape had told him to. 

And when he walked out, an empty and unexplainable feeling building in his chest, he chalked it all up to it being an after effect of everything that had happened yesterday during the Battle at the Ministry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for readingg , hope you guys liked it ! ^^ 
> 
> It was a bit short, but the third chapter will be up either later today or tomorrow and that one is slightly longer :)
> 
> Please let me know what you thought of it ! xx


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyhey, as promised here is the third chapter ! ^^ It's slightly longer, hope you guys like it ! <3 
> 
>  
> 
> _I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story._

The next days, leading up to the summer break, Harry found himself sleeping restlessly - or, more like, fidgeting restlessly in bed while he waited for sleep to come.

The morning Harry had left Snape’s quarters, he had found himself in Dumbledore’s office, after being called there. Dumbledore had told him about the Prophecy - Trelawney’s prediction, Voldemort’s attempt at killing him after having killed his parents, the backfired Killing Curse, Voldemort unintentionally transferring power to Harry, unintentionally developing a connection with him. Dumbledore had told Harry how Voldemort had wanted to hear the full Prophecy, since the Dark Wizard had only had heard part of it, so Voldemort could decipher how to destroy the threat - meaning Harry - on his way to power. 

On top of that, Dumbledore had mentioned how Harry is obligated to stay at the Dursleys - something about his aunt sealing the protection of his mum. Something Harry was definitely not looking forward to. 

Harry’s mind had swam with the information, he can’t believe Dumbledore hadn’t thought of telling him about all it before? Maybe, just _maybe_ certain things could have been avoided, or at least prevented. 

So, Harry found himself tossing and turning in bed every night, mind mulling about everything that had happened and everything he had heard.

Tonight was no different. Harry was clenching the pillow underneath his head with his fingers as he lay on his side, eyes staring blankly at the curtains that were drawn around his bed while his mind was buzzing - one thought flashing to another. 

Harry closed his eyes, willing sleep to take over him, but after a few minutes he snaps them open again, as an image of Sirius falling through the Veil flashes in front of his eyes, Bellatrix’ shrill laugh echoing in his ears.

Harry reaches a hand up, sighing, and rubs it across his eyes before he reaches to open the curtains, standing from the bed. He pulls his Cloak from underneath his pillow, putting it over his head, as he softly pads out of the Gryffindor tower and into the cold and deserted corridors of Hogwarts. 

Harry walks mindlessly, follows the corridors, until he finally sits on the steps of a stairs - watching the dark night through the window. The sound of raindrops hitting glass filled Harry’s ears. He drops the Cloak, leaning his head toward the glass a bit more, eyes peering into the darkness. After a moment, his eyes follow the streams along the window - created by the wetness of the rain - and he doesn’t know how long he’s sitting there. 

A voice - calling his name - startles him from his fascination of the rain on the window and he jumps, head snapping up to see Snape standing a few steps down, staring at him. _Why did Snape have to find him again? This time for sure Snape would subtract House points, probably even - smugly - give him a last detention before the year ends._

“Potter,” Snape says, “may I ask what you are doing out of your dorm after curfew?” 

Harry’s eyes momentarily flicked back to the window before he looks back at his Professor again. 

“Just - needed to clear my mind, I guess, sir,” Harry mumbles and Snape raised an eyebrow. 

Harry looked back towards the window, about to stand up to go back to the dorms, apologise for being out after curfew, when he heard Snape sigh and the sound of footsteps filled his ears. The footsteps came closer, and a moment later Harry felt heat from Snape’s body as the Professor sat down next to him. 

Harry frowned confusedly, his eyes still locked on the darkness outside. This had been the second time that Snape had come to sit with him. _What the hell was going on?_

They sat in silence for a few moments, the only sounds that could be heard, being the rain and their breathing. Harry felt his body relax a bit - he hadn’t even noticed his muscles being this tense - as he strangely found a bit of comfort, even if his mind was still flashing images and thoughts at him. 

Suddenly, Harry spoke up - softly - breaking the silence they were sitting in. 

“Sir?” he asked, “How much do you know about the Prophecy?” Harry heard a sharp intake of breath and he turned his head to see his Professor staring blankly ahead. Seconds passed by, and Harry was about to apologise for asking - for initiating conversation - when Snape exhaled softly, shakily and started to talk. 

“I know quite a bit about it, why do you ask?” Snape’s voice was quiet, highly contrasting his usual demanding, full of confidence and snark voice. Harry was startled at the new side of his Professor, more so as the man was letting this side out in front of Harry.

“Just because, sir,” Harry answered after a few moments, shoulders shrugging a bit. His eyes dropped to his lap where his hands were folded and he sighed. 

“Did you know about the powers I got from Vol-, uhm, You-Know-Who?” Harry corrected himself quickly at the name, knowing the effect it had on followers of the nose-slitted bastard. Harry honestly couldn’t bring himself to intentionally snark at and hurt his Professor at the moment, and he quickly squashed down that thought. “Apparently, when he had tried to kill me, he instead made a connection between him and myself, our minds. Transferred powers to me.” Harry huffed at the irony. 

“And, now, I’m The Chosen One,” Harry said, his voice taking on a sarcastic note. “The bastard having chosen me himself. The one who had the powers to defeat a Dark Wizard, neither one of us can live while the other survives, right? Let’s just have him end a Dark Wizard who hasn’t been able to get caught or destroyed for years.” Harry laughed, no humor in the sound. Apparently, once he’d started talking, he couldn’t stop. He felt like he was whining, knew his Professor wouldn't disagree, but he really just couldn’t shut his mouth. The best part is that he was telling all of it to Snape - who wouldn’t even give a damn, but whatever, Harry thought as he continued, at least he’d get some of his thoughts out of his mind. 

“A boy who’s been brought up by Muggles all his life - Muggles who hate magic nonetheless, who thinks magic is a shitshow and see me as the freakiest person to ever exist, try to erase from me, beat it out of me really - a boy who had, still almost has, no clue about magic or the Wizarding World.” 

Harry took a breath, his eyes filling with tears, voice cracking, “What am I supposed to _do_ , sir? Everyone expects so much of me, but what if I _can’t_? Just - can’t do it? What if I’m not ready? What if I don’t succeed? What if I let everyone down? What is going to happen then?” 

A few tears slid down his cheeks, and Harry closed his eyes, breathing shakily as he tried to keep himself from breaking down completely in front of Snape. “I’m sorry, sir, I shouldn’t have - “ 

Harry got cut off, arms pulling him into a surprisingly warm chest, holding him tight and Harry froze. A soft voice was shushing him, comforting him and a sob left his mouth, his resolves crumbling and shoulders shaking as he let himself break down - once more, in front of his Professor. 

Soft, comforting words were whispered as the arms tightened around him. A big, warm hand was rubbing his back and Harry buried his face into the warm chest - forgetting momentarily who it was that was comforting him. 

When he’d calmed down, residing to only sniffles leaving him, he pulled back to wipe at his face. A handkerchief appeared in his vision and he took it with a small thanks, a feeling of embarrassment filling him as he realized that he’d just sobbed all over his Potions Professor. 

Harry looked up at Snape, “I’m sorry about -,” he whispered, waving his hand. He wasn’t sure, himself, what exactly he was referring to - the whiny rant, the breaking down and sobbing all over Snape, wetting Snape’s robes with his tears or all of it.

“You should go back to your dorms,” Snape said, as he looked at Harry, “get some rest.” 

Harry nodded, he wasn’t so keen on going back to his dorms. An idea flashed through his mind and he looked at Snape, biting his lip as he contemplated if he should bring it up or not. 

A call of “Potter?” broke him out of his thoughts, and he opened his mouth before he could decide otherwise, words pouring out uncertainly. 

“Sir, if you don’t mind - uhm - would it, I mean could I -, “ he stuttered out, Snape was looking at him, assessing him with a raised brow. 

Harry took a breath, “Could I maybe stay again?” he asked softly, not specifying where, but knowing Snape would get it. 

“Potter, that’s not -,” Snape began, and Harry’s shoulders dropped. Nodding, he stood up to walk down the steps and back to his dorm. 

“Wait, Potter,” Snape said, and Harry froze. He heard a sigh and the rustling of fabric as Snape stood, “C’mon, Potter.” 

Harry’s head snapped up, his chest warming as he saw his Professor stand, looking at him expectantly.

“Thank you, sir,” Harry breathed, beaming and Snape nodded curtly. 

“Just don’t get used to it, Potter,” Snape repeated his words from last time. 

A few minutes later, Harry found himself back in the small room that he’d woken up in a few days ago. He buried his head in the soft pillows, pulling the covers up to his chin. Harry inhaled the fresh, comforting air around him, warmth settling within him. His body sagged and his eyes closed tiredly. Within seconds, Harry was soundly asleep, soft and even breaths escaping his mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank youu for reading ! I hope it was okay, hope you liked it ! ^^ The next chapter will be up in probably a few days <3 
> 
> Please let me know what you thought ! xx


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooo loves <3 Hope you're all doing okay :)
> 
> As promised, here is chapter 4, from Sev's point of view ;) Hope you guys enjoy it ! xx
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes ! 
> 
> _I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story._

Severus was sat on the sofa in his living room, eyes fixated on the crackling fire as he sipped on a glass of Firewhiskey that he held in one hand. 

He was trying to figure out what had happened for him, more like to him, to - not once, but twice - allow the Potter boy to sleep in his private chambers. 

Severus thought back to the first night the Gryffindor had slept here, to when Severus had found him in the corridors. 

Severus had been walking his night patrols, when he’d stumbled upon the hunched figure of Potter in a usually deserted corridor. He’d felt a bit of glee at the thought of - once more - getting to deduct House Points from the boy, revelling in the annoyance and incredulity that usually laced the boy’s words. That was, until Severus had stepped closer, face turning into a frown. 

The gasped breathing escaping the boy and the shaking body had held no surprise to the fact that the boy was crying, _sobbing_ to be exact. It made Severus freeze in his steps - he’d never actually seen the boy break down, except for that one time last year when that Hufflepuff boy, Cedric, had died at the hands of the Dark Lord, but even then it hadn’t been this extreme, Severus remembered. 

Severus’ mind had reminded him of what had transpired that day - how Bellatrix had happily killed the boy’s godfather in the Department of Mysteries during the Battle around the Prophecy. 

The - news of the - death of Black had had no effect on Severus. And, honestly, why should it have? Black had made sure to make Severus’ years at Hogwarts a living hell, along with that arrogant James Potter - but, Severus knew the Potter in front of him had grown attached to Black, since he’d escaped Azkaban, what with Black being his godfather and all. 

So, Severus had gone to check on the boy - tell him to get it together, get back to his dorms, would even forgo deducting House Points for once. 

But, when Severus had touched Potter’s shoulder, only for the boy to look at him with a blank look - no emotion, no expression, just plain nothing on his face - Severus had strangely felt his heart pull and he had done the only thing he could think of; to sit down next to Potter in a way of comfort. 

And, the thing is, Severus didn’t do comfort, oh no, he did _not_. So why, why had he done it for Potter - the boy who looked so much like his father, his tormentor, who talked back in most of his classes and who got on Severus’ nerves like no one else does? 

Then, he had to make it worse, and tell Potter that he felt _sorry_. For the death of Sirius Black nonetheless, mind him. And _then_ , he had brought the boy back to his chambers - after Potter had asked him in a ~~shattering~~ small voice to stay - only for the boy to fall asleep on his couch. While Severus was _stroking his hair_. 

Thank Merlin Potter had been fast asleep when Severus had _carried_ him to the bed in his guest room - not wanting to risk waking the boy with the touch of magic that came with a Levitation spell - that would have been something to explain.

 _Merlin, he must be losing his mind_ , Severus thought. His eyes flicked to the guest bedroom, where Potter was currently - hopefully, he briefly thought - sleeping, which only confirmed his previous thought. He was most definitely losing his mind. What in the world had possessed him to agree to Potter’s request to stay over, again? 

It definitely had nothing to do with the way the boy had ranted ~~heartbreakingly~~ , or how the words had punched Severus straight in the ~~chest~~ stomach, or how Potter had sobbed against his chest - after Severus had pulled him in a _hug_. 

Severus _never_ hugged anyone. And, wasn’t all that just another confirmation to him losing his goddamn mind? Yes, yes it was. 

Severus let his mind wreck over the words Potter had spoken. How the Gryffindor had spoken about the Prophecy, the Dark Lord, his responsibility as “Chosen One” and slightly about his - abusive - aunt and uncle.

Severus had known all about the Prophecy, being the one to have delivered it to his Lord, not knowing how it would affect the future. The future of not only his so-called Lord, but also the future of the Potters, specifically Lily. And now, he’d seen the effects of it on this boy, this Potter - who was the one dealing with the aftermath now. 

Deep down, Severus hadn’t been expecting his “Lord” to take the Prophecy seriously, especially coming from Trelawney. Severus felt the guilt in his stomach grow, once more. If only he’d never wanted to, or was obliged to, “prove” himself, or to fit in - what good did proving himself or fitting in do now? Severus wasn’t even that person, hadn’t been at that time either.

He inhaled deeply, trying to ease the tightness that had created in his chest. Shaking his head, he took a sip of his Firewhiskey. 

Now was not the time to wallow in guilt and in past mistakes, now was the time to rectify what he’d done so stupidly and naively in his teenage years, now was the time to prove - if only to himself - that he wasn’t and never had been the man he’d made himself out to be, whom he’d let others think he was. He was human after all, mistakes were to be made, if only to rectify them and yourself, or better yourself by changing and learning along the way. 

Severus’ mind drifted back to Potter’s words, how Potter had been obviously affected by the words of the Prophecy, the news of the transferred powers and the apparent “responsibilities” that lied on his shoulders now. How Potter’s Gryffindor side had shown, when the boy had broken down in insecurity and how he’d questioned his ability to do what was expected of him. 

Severus let the words play in his mind, replaying the ones that mentioned briefly about his life at the Dursleys. Severus had always thought Potter would have it fine, even if that wretched aunt of his wasn’t big on magic, having seen the way she treated Lily and himself. He’d never thought the bitch - along with that husband and child of hers - would actually abuse a child for it, her sister’s child. Then again, it did not surprise him that much either. 

Severus felt his chest clench - _and, what?_ \- at the thought of Potter’s uncle and aunt beating the magic out of the boy, as Potter had briefly mentioned. 

Severus sighed, hand scrubbing down his face. _What was wrong with him?_

He couldn’t possibly be feeling this bad for the boy, couldn’t possibly have let Potter’s rant and sobbing affect him so much. 

Rationally, Severus knew that Potter was just that - a boy, who’d been placed in the game, chosen and integrated as a pawn. Potter, technically, hadn’t had any choice in any of it. Rationally, he also knew Potter would most definitely sacrifice himself - if it would come to it. 

But, Severus’ other part - the more dominant one, the one that still remembered how Potter’s father had treated him, without reason, like he was a piece of dirt - didn’t let him see the boy as other than his father. In that part of his mind, Potter was still highly alike to his father - an arrogant brat, who enjoyed and took pleasure out of mocking others. 

Severus looked down at the glass in his hand, thumb circling the rim. What if he was beginning to actually, you know, _care_ for Potter? 

Severus shook his head vehemently at the thought. No, he did _not_ care about or for Potter. It was merely him being weakened momentarily, knowing the pain of losing someone dear to you. He had stopped caring for anyone, anything, after the death of -

Severus let his mind drift away from the thought, then nodded mentally and finished his drink. He put the glass down and stood. Yes, that was just it, he decided. Just weakness and maybe, just maybe, a bit of sympathy for what the boy was going through. That was all.

But, it wouldn’t happen again, because he didn't care. Simple as that. 

With that, Severus walked into his bedroom, shrugging away the urge to check on Potter.

Severus slipped underneath the covers, head hitting his pillow, as he waited for sleep to overtake him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading ! I hope you liked it , please let me know what you thought about it ^^ 
> 
> The next chapter should be up somewhere during the weekend <33


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy, as promised the 5th chapter ! ^^
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes :)
> 
> Hope you enjoy it !
> 
>  
> 
> _I do not own any of the characters mentioned in the story._

The next morning, Harry woke blearily, stretching his muscles with a yawn. He settles back into the soft mattress for a few minutes, wishing he could stay, before he sighed and reached over to pick up his glasses from the nightstand, remembering that today was the day all students were going home again for the summer break. 

Harry placed the glasses on the bridge of his nose, vision clearing, and got up from the bed. He padded into the living room, quickly scanning the area as well as the kitchen for any sign of Snape.

A rush of disappointment passed through him, when he found nothing. His eye fell on Snape’s desk - parchments and a quill neatly stacked on the desk. Harry decided to write a short note to the Professor to let him know Harry had gone and to thank him for letting him stay over, twice. 

He wouldn’t mention that the two nights he had spent in his Professor’s quarters, were two of the nights he’d gotten the most sleep in the past days.  
After he’d finished the note, deciding to place it on the kitchen table, Harry walks out of the door. He ignores the clench of his chest and the feeling of emptiness that gradually was replacing the warmth in his body. It was probably the fact that he had to go back to the Dursleys for a whole summer. _At least it would be the last_ , Harry thought, but not even that thought seemed to light a spark within him.

-

Severus woke slowly, a change to his usual ‘awake in a start’ mornings, and he allowed himself to stretch languidly. Then he froze, mid stretch. _Fuck, Potter was in his quarters._

Sighing, Severus stood up, waving a hand quickly to make himself presentable - meaning, his usual black robes - and strode out of his room. He walked to the guest room, fully convinced he’d have to wake the brat, but frowned when he looked inside the room.

The room was quiet and tidy, no person to be found. The bed was made, the edges of the covers tucked neatly underneath the mattress, no sign of the fact that someone had stayed over in that room. 

Severus closed the door, looked around the living room, before continuing his search in the kitchen. Potter wasn’t there either, but Severus’ eye fell on a piece of parchment and he picked it up, eyes scanning the words written on it. 

 

 ~~Dear~~ Professor Snape, Sir, 

I wasn’t able to find you and assumed you were either still in your own room or in your study, so I decided to leave this note for you. 

I just wanted to thank you, sir, for letting me stay over once more. ~~I really appreciate it.~~

~~I hope I wasn’t too much of a bother.~~

Anyway, thank you, sir. Have a nice summer break, see you next year. 

Harry.

 

Severus scanned the note several times, before dropping it back on the table, calling for an Elf.

Severus tried to ignore the clenching in his chest at the striked words the boy had written, particularly the last ones, and at the fact that Potter would be going back to his aunt and uncle for the summer break, now aware of the abuse that went on behind doors. He also tried to ignore the fact that the thought of it made his hands twitch. 

He pushed everything to the back of his mind, asked a cup of tea and some breakfast from his Elf, then sat down with the newspaper, still ignoring whatever it was that was weighing down on his chest. 

At least, he didn’t have to struggle with waking the boy up or having to face him. 

-

Three weeks later, Severus found himself in the Potions Room at Hogwarts - having decided to stay here instead of at Spinner’s End this summer - to try and clear his mind by working on some potions. 

He stirred the potion a few last times, blankly watching the way it simmered, mind running with thoughts of Potter - once more. 

As the weeks had passed by, Severus’ mind kept going back to the way Potter had broken down in front of him, even as far as to make Severus toss and turn in his bed during night. 

Severus briefly wondered if Albus knew how the boy is being affected by everything, if he was also aware of the abuse Potter endured at the Dursleys. If he didn’t, Severus wondered what Albus would do the moment he’d find out. And if he did know, then why didn’t Albus ever do anything about it, why did he let Potter live his life there, let him keep going back?

Subconsciously, Severus also knew this… _musing_ during the past weeks was pointing to the fact that over the years he’d come to slightly _appreciate_ \- for a lack of better word, Severus thought with a scowl - Potter without his knowing. Whatever that meant, but it did not directly mean caring in his vocabulary, because no. 

Severus did know in the back of his mind that Potter really wasn’t his father, wasn’t alike to him. Potter wasn’t the bully that his father was to Severus, he also wasn’t the arrogant brat Severus had always thought Potter would be. 

But, as usual, Severus pushed all of these thoughts back, still ignoring it as much as he could. Because that’s what he does best. 

Severus got pulled out of his thoughts by the sound of loud hissing and he blinked his eyes to see the potion he was working on bubbling up the sides of the cauldron. Severus cursed, quickly throwing a Stasis on the potion, before Banishing it. _There goes his work of two hours, damn Potter._

Severus groaned inwardly, sighing. _Guess he’d better make a trip towards the Headmaster’s._

-

Harry sat on his knees, on the grass in the garden, hands rifling through the bushes as he trimmed it, trying to finish the task before Uncle Vernon would be coming home again - knowing that if he didn’t, it would be hell to pay. 

While working, Harry let his mind drift back to the start of the summer, when he’d said his goodbyes to Hermione, Ron and the other Weasleys. 

He’d stepped out on Platform 9 ¾, his heart sinking as he had hugged Hermione and Ron, promising them to write. They had said their goodbyes while making plans to reunite at the Burrow at the end of summer. 

With a heavy heart, he had turned away from his friends, the train, his home and had walked through the wall, making his way to catch a taxi to Privet Drive. 

Four weeks had passed since then and Harry couldn’t wait for these upcoming weeks to pass by as well, only wanting to get away from this place.

As he finished the last of the cutting, cleaning up the mess and throwing it in the outside bin, a pop caught his attention and Harry startled when his gaze fell on the figure of Dumbledore standing in the garden of the Dursleys. 

_What was Dumbledore doing here?_ , Harry thought. 

Harry stood up, brushing the dirt of his jeans and walked over to Dumbledore, who was gazing around the garden with curiosity. 

“Sir?” Harry asked, catching the man’s attention. 

“Ah, Harry, precisely whom I was looking for,” Dumbledore said in a delighted voice. Harry frowned in confusion. 

“If I may ask, sir, why - exactly - were you looking for me? The school year has yet to start. If I’m right, we still have around four weeks left,” Harry said. His heart skipped worriedly. 

“In due time, I will explain, Harry. I don’t see your aunt or uncle around?” Dumbledore questioned, gaze flicking around Harry to peek inside. Harry acknowledged that Dumbledore had waved away his questioning, only making Harry grow more cautious and confused. 

“Uhm, no, sir. Uncle Vernon is at work, or on his way home,” Harry said, after a quick glance at the clock inside, “and, Aunt Petunia is picking Dudley up from a friend’s,” Harry continued. 

Dumbledore nodded, “Very well.” and moved around Harry to slide the glass doors open, stepping inside the house, before sitting down into one of the chairs - after having glanced around the room. Harry stood in the garden, frozen, before he shook himself out of it and moved inside as well. 

“Tea or coffee, sir?” Harry asked awkwardly, after a few minutes of silence and fidgeting - the latter mostly on his part. 

“Tea, Harry, lovely. Thank you.” And Harry nodded, hurriedly moving towards the kitchen to put the kettle on. 

While he grabbed a glass from the cupboard, put some fresh leaves into the tea infuser that was placed in the glass, he let himself wonder. 

_What was Dumbledore doing out here? It wasn’t even the end of the break. And, why did it seem as if he was waiting for his aunt and uncle to return, until he’d reveal exactly what he was doing here? Why did he seem intent on talking to them? What in Merlin’s sake was going on?_

Harry felt his stomach churn in nervousness, mind whirling with possibilities as to why Dumbledore would be here. Dumbledore had never made himself present to his aunt and uncle before, so why now? 

The click of the kettle pulled him from his mind and Harry finished the cup of tea. He quickly cleaned the counter, kettle and some of the scattered tea leaves - not wanting his aunt or uncle to find something to scold him about, after his whole day of cleaning the house - before he carefully handed the tea over to Dumbledore. Then, he settled himself on the couch, silence washing over them as they waited for Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon to arrive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, hope you liked it ! ^^ 
> 
> Please let me know what you thought ! xx
> 
> Next chapter should be up in a few days :) <33


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooo ! Here is chapter 6 with some Dumbledore-Dursleys confrontation and Harry contemplating some things concerning Snape :) It's a bit on the short side, though, sorryy <3
> 
> Hope you enjoy it ! ^^ 
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes x
> 
>  
> 
> _I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story._

Harry walked through the gates at Hogwarts, body instantly relaxing and heart calming as a feeling of home passed through him. As he walked up the path to the Castle, nodding his head towards some guards, he thought back to a few hours back, when Dumbledore had confronted his aunt and uncle. 

_“It is nice to finally meet you in person, Mr. and Mrs. Dursley,” Dumbledore said to his aunt and uncle, eyes twinkling suspiciously. Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon scoffed softly, mouths curled down._

_Harry remembered how they had immediately thrown a fit to Harry as to why a stranger was sitting in their living room, not even ten minutes into arrived home, practically trying to shove Dumbledore from the couch. It wasn’t until Dumbledore calmly introduced himself, for it to click with them that this was the same man who’d left Harry on their doorstep several years ago. Finally, they had all taken their seats, his aunt and uncle scowling - but when didn’t they? - Harry standing in the kitchenette. Dudley had taken his seat already in front of the TV, digging into a platter filled with food, ignoring the situation around him._

_“Yes, yes,” Uncle Vernon had answered Dumbledore, waving a hand, “but, what are you doing in our house?”_

_Dumbledore smiled, “Well, I got some information on the way you allegedly have been treating Harry here,” he said, waving a hand in the direction of where Harry was standing, and Harry froze at the moment he saw both his aunt and uncle froze as well. “I just wanted to see if the rumours were true or not,” Dumbledore continued with a pointed look toward Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon, eyes staring them down from across his glasses._

_Aunt Petunia had let out a scoff, followed by a high shriek of nervous laughter, “I don’t know what information you’ve heard, or where you got it from for that matter, but we assure you, we treat him just as he’s supposed to be treated,” she told Dumbledore, sneering a bit._

_Harry had flicked his eyes down, even after having heard the words every single day for the past years, it still manages to feel like a stab through his heart - knowing that people hate him, think he’s a freak, an abomination to the world, because of his magic, the same magic that gave him a home, a real home. The fact that he’ll never be just normal. Looking up, Harry had tuned back into the conversation._

_“And, exactly, what way is that, Mrs. Dursley?” Dumbledore questioned. Aunt Petunia had stayed silent underneath Dumbledore’s scrutinizing stare. It was Uncle Vernon who spoke up this time._

_“The boy is a freak, just like his parents were, and we will treat him exactly that way and you have nothing to say about what goes on in this house,” Uncle Vernon had snapped, a finger pointing accusingly toward Dumbledore._

_“Ah,” Dumbledore began, “but, I think I do. At least if it concerns Harry.” Harry had snapped his head to look at Dumbledore, noticed the way Dumbledore’s gaze had hardened - still pointed at the Dursleys. “I believe you remember that it was me, who’d put Harry on your doorstep,” Aunt Petunia had muttered something along the lines of ‘as if we could forget’, but Dumbledore wasn’t phased by it and continued talking, “thinking Harry would be alright here - thinking it to be my responsibility to provide a home for Harry. I did not think that his aunt and uncle - even if they hate magic - would go as far as to abuse a boy. For something he can’t control, something that runs in his veins. For the fact that he is an amazing wizard, like his father was and like his mother was an amazing witch. But, I can see how that was a naive thing of me to think, since you’ve both acted similarly - meaning as immaturely - toward the boy’s parents. I really should not have expected anything else from you, as you have never showed me to believe otherwise. Never showed me to believe that you aren’t the abusive, close-minded and unappreciative kind I had seen you were. As I said, a naive thing for me to think and do.”_

_Aunt Petunia gasped at the words, a horrified look spreading on her face, and Uncle Vernon raised angrily from his chair, “Now, look here - “, he started to scream but stopped when Dumbledore raised his hand to signal for Uncle Vernon to stop talking, the older wizard raising smoothly from his seat as well._

_Dumbledore cleared his throat, eyes flicking toward Harry momentarily, before looking back at the Dursleys. “So, now, it is also my responsibility to step in when it shows that this is not the home I had imagined for Harry to grow up in, that Harry is not treated the way he should be - should have been. To take him away from a place filled with fools, who can’t take up responsibilities themselves, nor can they act like the adults they are supposed to be.”_

_Dumbledore had turned fully toward Harry, ignoring the Dursleys outraged gasps and words - mostly still wanting to keep Harry around as a slave, turn him from Hogwarts and “make” him to be like them - to tell Harry to pack up his stuff and that they’d be leaving the moment he did._

That’s how he ended up here, back at Hogwarts, weeks before the new school year would even start. 

It had taken a few moments for Dumbledore’s words to sink in, when he’d told Harry to pack up. He’d stood there, frozen, mouth gaping at Dumbledore, until Dumbledore had called him out of his stupor and he’d raced to his room to pack quickly. 

And, right after Harry had come downstairs, trunk thudding down the steps of the stairs, Dumbledore waiting for him in the hall, Dumbledore had grabbed Harry’s arm to Side-Apparate him outside the wards of Hogwarts - no other words exchanged with the Dursleys. Not that Harry minded, at all. He was just happy to be away from them. 

Harry didn’t know what had happened in the time he’d been upstairs, packing, but before Dumbledore and him had disappeared with a pop, Harry had seen his relatives fearfully standing in the living room. 

Harry shook his head to clear his thoughts, as Dumbledore called out for him - already a few steps ahead of Harry, approaching the castle doors. Harry picked up his pace, stepping next to Dumbledore as the doors in front of them opened with a loud creak and they stepped inside, Hogwarts’ warm and familiar magic washing over them. 

“Harry,” Dumbledore said, and Harry faced him, “your stuff is already in your dorms. You will stay in your own dorms during the upcoming weeks. Same rules apply as during the school year,” Dumbledore finished, eyes peeking across his glasses. Harry nodded his head in understanding, briefly thinking about how weird and quiet it’s going to be in his dorms. Dumbledore nodded his head once in return, and Harry turned to walk away to his dorms, Dumbledore’s voice stopping him.

“And Harry,” Harry turned to look at Dumbledore, whose twinkle in his eyes had diminished, a far away look replacing it, “I must apologise to you, my boy.”

Harry’s eyes watered a bit at the apology, nobody really having apologised to him before - at least not this heart felt, and he cleared his throat, “It’s alright, sir,” Harry spoke softly. 

Dumbledore shook his head, “It’s not, I should have known, my boy. Should have expected it from them. I apologise for not stepping in earlier, for putting you there with them in the first place.” 

Harry only nodded, “It’s really alright, sir. Thank you for stepping in when you did,” Harry said, smiling a bit. Harry didn’t know how Dumbledore knew about the way the Dursleys - had - treated him, but he was extremely grateful to be out of that house and away from those people.

The twinkle in Dumbledore’s eyes returned in full force, “Don’t just thank me, Harry.” Dumbledore turned around, leaving a confused Harry standing in the entrance hall. After a few moments, Harry turned as well, walking toward the Gryffindor dorms. The whole way, Harry kept wondering what Dumbledore had meant. 

-

It wasn’t until later, when Harry was tossing in his bed after having unpacked his trunk, that something clicked in his mind. 

_Hadn’t Harry told Snape about the Dursleys?_

Harry was pretty sure that he’d mentioned his life at the Dursleys to Snape, at least briefly, when he’d broken down in front of the Professor. 

_Had Snape told Dumbledore what he’d told the Professor? Had Dumbledore meant that when he’d told Harry not to just thank him?_

Harry shook his head with a frown. Why would Snape want to do that? Snape despised Harry, the way Harry was treated at the Dursleys would not affect the Professor, nor would the Professor care enough to step to the Headmaster. 

He had to admit though, that he hoped it had been the Professor in question. After all, during the weeks at the Dursleys - where Harry was up for nights in a row, tossing and turning, not able to wander about - his mind had kept going back to the way it had felt to be comforted by Snape.

Warm, strong arms holding him close as soft, hushed words were whispered into his hair. Letting Harry cry all of his worries and sorrows out of his system. 

Harry also remembered how it had felt to sleep in Snape’s quarters. Two nights in which Harry had slept peacefully, no dreams, no visions, no tossing and turning. The rooms had warmed Harry, had made him feel as if nothing would harm him.

Harry often wondered why in those moments - in the Professor’s arms as well as quarters - he’d felt warm, home, safe. But, as quick as the thought would appear in his mind, just as quick Harry would dismiss it, not wanting to think about it too long. 

Harry closed his eyes with a sigh, turning to lay on his side. It didn’t matter anyway who had told Dumbledore. Harry was at Hogwarts, his real home. With that in mind, Harry relaxed into the bed, clearing his mind. 

But to no avail, the thoughts about Snape seemed to persist in the back of Harry’s mind, making him toss and turn all night instead of find sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for readingg ! :)
> 
> I also want to thank you for all of the comments and kudos I have already gotten so far, I'm so happy you guys are enjoying the story, you are amazingg ! <33
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the chapter, please let me know what you thought about it ! ^^ 
> 
> Next chapter will probably be up in a few days xx


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooo, I am back with the seventh chapter <3 Took me a bit longer than I had wanted, though, but deadlines for uni were a thing :(
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy it though ! xx
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes !
> 
>  
> 
> _I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story._

Four days have passed quickly, since Harry had returned to Hogwarts. Harry had kept himself busy with wandering around the castle, he had even visited Hagrid for a day to help him around the Forest. 

Yesterday, Harry had met with the Headmaster, only for Dumbledore to tell Harry that the remainder of the holidays, Harry is obligated to take some extra classes. According to Dumbledore, Harry needed to broaden his knowledge, practice his magic more as well as control it more. And who better, Dumbledore had said, than to assign Professor Snape as Harry’s tutor. Dumbledore had given him one more day off, stating the lessons would start the day after that, saying, and Harry quotes, “There’s no such thing as starting too early or too much practicing.” 

Harry sighed. The past few days, Harry’s mind had kept going back to the possibility of Snape having confronted Dumbledore about Harry’s personal life. Now, Harry was supposed to spend his last summer days with the Professor. 

Should Harry, in turn, confront Snape about it? Although, Harry was pretty sure that idea would only earn him a one way ticket to getting insulted or hexed - never question Snape, Harry reminded himself. 

Then again, if - by rare chance - it had been Snape, who’d indeed brought the issue to attention with Dumbledore, Harry wanted to thank him as well. Thank him for stepping in, for getting Harry away from the Dursleys. Which, really, surprises him, because it was _Snape_ he’s talking about. 

While he looked at the scenery beneath him from his position on the Astronomy Tower, he made his decision - not wanting to think over it too long, sure that he would end up questioning himself. 

Tonight, after dinner, he’d stop by Snape’s. If anything, he’d at least get the chance to thank the Professor personally for having him stay over a few weeks back. Moreover, Harry knew that if he didn’t confront Snape now, the thoughts would interfere with his lessons, leading him to possibly - most certainly - do something stupid. The man hated him already, no need to encourage that even more during those lessons, Harry thought. 

Briefly, Harry let himself think that _maybe_ , Snape wouldn’t be too bad. After all, he _had_ comforted Harry - twice. 

-

Harry was wrong, confronting Snape was a bad idea. He was literally _shaking_ from nerves.

A few minutes after dinner, Harry had followed the Professor to his quarters, knocking softly on the door. Snape had opened the door, only to sneer down at him.

“What is it, Potter?”

Harry had looked up at Snape, hands wringing, “I was wondering, sir, if I could come in and talk to you about something?” Snape had only raised an eyebrow, before letting Harry in after a moment and Harry had quickly stepped inside, sighing in relief.

Right now, Harry’s heart was hammering in his chest, as he fidgeted nervously while he stood in front of the fireplace, regretting all his life choices while watching as Snape took sips of his drink, a snarl on the man’s face as he assessed Harry with his eyes, no doubt waiting impatiently for Harry to speak. 

After a few minutes, Snape sighed, annoyed, “Are you going to stand there quietly, or are you going to tell me what it was you wanted to talk to me about, Potter?” Snape urged. 

Harry cleared his throat, “Right, yes, sir.” 

He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself, before he let his eyes meet Snape’s.

“First of all, sir, uhm, I wanted to thank you. For - uhm - you know, letting me stay over those times. I know I already thanked you in the letter, but - uhm - I wanted to do it again, in person. So, thank you, sir.” 

Harry glanced a look at Snape, only for him to see the Professor staring blankly at him, nodding once in acknowledgement as he saw Harry looking at him. For some reason, Harry’s heart clenched at the near dismissive gesture, but he pushed it away. After all, he wasn’t finished yet. 

“Was that it, Potter?” Snape asked, when Harry had stayed silent, but Harry shook his head and dropped his eyes to his fidgeting hands. 

“No, sir, there was another thing,” Harry said, pausing to gather all his courage. 

“I’m sure you know by now, Professor, that I am not living at the Dursleys anymore. A few days ago, Professor Dumbledore had come to visit me there and confronted them about their way of upbringing,” Harry scoffed at the word, before continuing, “In the end, Professor Dumbledore had taken me along with him, back to Hogwarts. And, don’t get me wrong, I am extremely happy to be away from them. It just got me wondering a bit, sir, how Professor Dumbledore had suspected or known about the way the Dursleys treated me?” Harry trailed off, peeking up at his Professor, who was blankly staring at the glass he was holding in his hand. 

“I guess, sir, what I am asking,” Harry continued after a few beats, heart hammering in his chest and hands trembling, “if you might have had anything to do with the fact of bringing it to Professor Dumbledore’s attention, sir?” 

It was silent, for too long, and Harry’s breath was stuttering, nerves growing. 

Snape had been sitting in his chair, only staring at the glass and tracing the rim with his fingers, as Harry had eyed him for any movement, any reaction at all. But, nothing. 

Harry exhaled softly. _Well, at least he hadn’t been hexed, but what other thing had he expected?_

Had he expected for Snape to actually speak up, admit it was him? Harry, himself, wasn’t even sure it had been Snape (though, his gut was telling him it had been, but that bitch couldn’t always be trusted, he knew - so he, possibly, could have been entirely wrong). 

He didn’t know why, but a feeling of disappointment coiled in the pit of his stomach.

He was about to speak up, apologise to Snape for dragging him into the situation and apologise for having expected Snape - of all people - to have brought it to Dumbledore’s attention, because _how stupid could he have been to actually think that?_

Maybe it had been one of the Weasleys, or one of his best friends, and why hadn’t he thought of that option before? Before he made an arse of himself in front of Snape, again, of all people? (Though, his mind was protesting against the idea, still trying to convince him that it had been Snape and he mentally sighed). 

But then, Snape sighed out loud and looked up at Harry, face blank, but still open in a way Harry had never seen before and Harry found himself frozen, waiting. 

Finally, after what seemed like hours of Snape assessing him, the man answered.

“It had - indeed - been me, Potter, who had brought it to Dumbledore’s attention,” Snape drawled and Harry’s eyes widened, heart leaping - and what, why? - as he watched the Professor deftly cross one leg across the other, Harry subconsciously noticing how lean and long the legs actually were - _what the hell?_

Snape’s words, thankfully, brought him out of his thoughts as they fully registered in his mind, once more, and Harry remembered, _oh yeah, Harry had asked something and Snape had answered_ , blinked his eyes to focus back on Snape. Once more, he felt the shock of Snape admitting that it had been him running through his veins.

“Why?” Harry breathed, dazedly. _Why would Snape do that for him?_

Snape breathed out in a huff, but answered nonetheless. 

“Not that it’s really any of your business why I do what I do, but I know what it’s like to grow up in an abusive home, Potter, and no matter what people might think or say about me, I am not a complete bastard to let someone - _anyone_ \- continue to live in a situation like that.” 

Harry let the words sink in, _Snape knew what it was like to grow up in an abusive home?_ He furrowed his brows, _Snape had been abused?_ , and Harry’s heart clenched at the thought. 

Harry knew about his father and Sirius bullying Snape, he’d seen it and had confronted his godfather about it even. But, he hadn’t known about - and, obviously he didn't - his Professor to be abused in his own home, as well. 

Harry wouldn’t wish it upon anyone to be abused, especially not in a place you are supposed to feel loved and safe, with family. 

_But, well, that did explain certain things about the man_ , he thought, frowning and heart clenching even more ( _what?_ ). 

Harry shook his head and looked back at Snape. His heart jumped, as it fully registered to what Snape had admitted to. In the back of his mind, Harry was secretly happy that it had been Snape and not one of the Weasleys, or one of his friends (again, _what?_ ).

“Thank you, sir,” Harry said softly, trying to pour all his gratefulness into the words, “Thank you so much.”

Harry’s knees went weak, heart stuttering, as he watched Snape muster a small smile. 

“No problem, Harry,” Snape said softly, and Harry’s breath hitched. _Snape had used his given name_ , Harry's mind chanted. _Snape had never used his given name. The name sounded amazing, rolling from Snape’s mouth - and what the fuck?_

“I -,” Harry began to say, not even knowing what he'd wanted to say before he shook his head, he really needed to get away from here and figure himself out, “Right, sir, thank you. I should be leaving right now, curfew and all.” Harry laughed nervously, voice breathless and mind still whirring with thoughts about Snape. _Merlin._

Snape nodded, standing as Harry walked toward the door. And, as Harry was about to close the door behind him, Snape’s voice stopped him. 

“And, Potter?” Harry turned to look at Snape over his shoulder, slightly disappointed at the use of the last name, “Yes, sir?”

“Do not mistake everything we have talked about as me caring for you. You are still an impertinent brat,” Snape said. 

The words didn’t hurt Harry as much as they should have, as they would have months ago. Instead, Harry felt them settle in his heart with a bit of warmth and despite himself - and his mind being confused as hell, because _what was happening?_ \- Harry smiled.

“I wouldn’t expect otherwise, Professor,” he answered Snape softly, closing the door before practically running towards his dorms, heart hammering out of his chest. 

-

Once he’d reached his dorms, he let himself drop on top his bed, face first into his pillow. He let out a scream, sound muffled by the fabric of his pillow, before he rolled over with a sigh, staring at the ceiling as he let his mind wonder about what had just happened. 

Snape had admitted to being the one to tell Dumbledore about Harry’s home situation, prompting Dumbledore to visit Harry and confront the Dursleys, only for his suspicions to be confirmed and deciding to take Harry away from the Dursleys. Harry had been surprised to hear that it had _actually_ been Snape, who had brought the issue up with Dumbledore. Somewhere in the back of his mind, it made Harry think that Snape might not mean it when he said that he didn't care about Harry - but Harry quickly dismissed that thought, it did no good to get his hopes up. Snape had even said so - that he did not care - before Harry had left his chambers and Harry shook away the thought, mind wandering to the other thoughts flitting through his mind. 

Snape had admitted to being abused himself, explaining that was the reason he’d stepped to Dumbledore with his worries. The idea of Snape being abused at home during his childhood had Harry’s heart clenching in the same way it had, when he’d been confronting Snape in his chambers. 

Which brings Harry to his next point. What _was_ up with all the confusing feelings and thoughts about Snape? 

First, the musing about Snape’s comforting and sleeping in Snape’s rooms at the Dursleys. Especially, the night of his sixteenth birthday, which he’d spent as lonely as usual. He’d imagined that he was back at Hogwarts, but the strangest thing had been that Harry had imagined himself in Snape’s quarters, not in the Gryffindor dorms with his friends. 

And, Harry had to admit, even during the nights he’d been here, he’d been considering going over to ask the man if he could stay there again. But, he resisted himself every night, instead accepting and dealing with his insomnia himself. 

Then there was another thing; the noticing parts of Snape’s body, seeing them in a different, more - dare he say it - _attractive_ light. And then, he almost gets a heart failure from seeing the man smile, not from shock but from the way his heart had stuttered so rapidly from awe. 

Plus, Snape’s words had affected him in a whole new way today. Instead of the words stabbing at him, annoying him, riling him up, the words had settled easily and with warmth, almost amusing him in a soft way. 

Harry shook his head, _it must be from the fact that Snape had let his guard down, shocking and unnerving Harry_ , Harry thought, and he dismissed the thoughts about Snape with that.

But, even to Harry’s own ears the argument felt weak - more than unnerved, Harry knew deep down, he was intrigued by the lack of walls Snape had up. 

And, all Harry really wanted to do, he realized subconsciously, _shockingly_ \- instead of push everything to the back of his mind - was spend his time getting to know Snape, see what Snape had been hiding behind his mask and walls. 

_Good thing he had the lessons as excuse_ , Harry thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading ! I hope you guys liked it, let me know what you thought about it ! <3
> 
> Next chapter should be up somewhere during the weekend, it's going to be the same ''Harry confronting Snape'', but from Sev's point of view :) xx


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooo, here's a chapter from Sev's point of view ! <3 It took me a bit longer to post because of uni, I'm sorry :(
> 
> Hope you enjoy it ! Sorry for any mistakes xx
> 
> _I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story._

Severus was sitting in his quarters and, as usual, he had a glass of Firewhiskey in his hand. He had planned on a quiet and relaxing evening. 

After all, he was supposed to spend the last of his summer with that brat, Potter, tutoring him. Severus decided that he was up for a disaster, knowing Potter - and, himself, he had to reluctantly admit. 

Even so, he found himself lost in thought, thinking about Potter. Severus was glad Albus had taken the boy away from his relatives, from an abusive environment. 

A knock sounded on the door and Severus sighed. _So much for a quiet evening_ , he thought as he stood to walk over to the door. 

Severus opened the door, gaze falling onto Potter standing nervously in front of him, _of course_ , and he pulled his face into a sneer. 

“What is it, Potter?”

The boy wrung his hands together, before speaking. “I was wondering, sir, if I could come in and talk to you about something?”

Severus looked at him, felt his eyebrow raise on its own accord, _what did Potter want to talk about with him?_ Although, he felt the urge to send the boy away and continue his planned quiet night in, his curiosity won the battle and he stepped aside to let Potter in, hearing Potter let out a breath as he stepped through the door. 

Severus closed the door, turning back to walk to the chair he’d been occupying before and sat down, picking up his glass. He took some sips, eyes scanning Potter, as he stood by the fireplace, fidgeting.

The boy’s hair was mess, as usual, Severus noticed with a roll of his eyes. Severus traced his eyes across Potter’s face and body, assessing him. Potter had grown, he noted. The face less baby-ish and more mature, a few lines tracing along his face making him look slightly older than the sixteen years Severus knew him to be now. 

Potter’s stance was still a bit lanky, limbs awkwardly falling along his body and slightly all over the place, but he’d grown into his clothes, Severus acknowledged. His chest and shoulders had broadened and he’d grown quite taller. It was a good look, Severus decided.

Severus blinked his eyes, _what? Where did that come from? What was he thinking?_

The boy was sixteen, not even of age, and Severus was old enough to be his father. Even more so, Severus couldn’t possibly find Potter _appealing_. 

Severus shook his head, mentally, deciding to urge Potter to get the talk over with so Severus could get him out of his quarters as soon as possible, and get himself some sleep, since he seemed to be losing his mind. Severus sighed loudly, apparently that thought always seemed to come forth when Potter was involved.

“Are you going to stand there quietly, or are you going to tell me what it was you wanted to talk to me about, Potter?” Severus snapped, annoyed at himself, and at Potter for ruining his night and making himself so _present_ in both his quarters and mind. 

“Right, yes, sir,” Potter said, taking a breath. 

“First of all, sir, uhm, I wanted to thank you. For - uhm - you know, letting me stay over those times. I know I already thanked you in the letter, but - uhm - I wanted to do it again, in person. So, thank you, sir,” Potter stuttered out, and Severus felt amusement coil at the way the boy seemed to nervously stutter, but he kept his face blank. 

A part of him also felt - _touched_ , he realized, seeing as Potter is thanking him for something that had happened weeks ago, for which he had already thanked Severus as well. The feeling also went straight to his chest, making him feel something he hadn't felt in years - and that was something he did _not_ want to acknowledge. So, again, Severus kept his face blank, not wanting to give the Potter the satisfaction of having him know that Severus had gladly, more like unwittingly, been letting his guard down for Potter - again. And when Potter looked at him, he nodded once, immediately regretting it a bit when he saw a brief flicker of hurt pass on the boy's face, as the boy kept silent, but Severus pushed it away. 

''Was that it, Potter?'' he asked, hoping the boy would nod and leave, so - again - he could ignore the feelings the boy seemed to bring to surface in him, so he could resume his previously planned quiet night. But, luck was not on his side - as usual. 

''No, sir, there was another thing.” Potter said, and Severus almost sighed. 

“I’m sure you know by now, Professor, that I am not living at the Dursleys anymore. A few days ago, Professor Dumbledore had come to visit me there and confronted them about their way of upbringing,” Potter scoffed at the word, before he continued, “In the end, Professor Dumbledore had taken me along with him, back to Hogwarts. And, don’t get me wrong, I am extremely happy to be away from them. It just got me wondering a bit, sir, how Professor Dumbledore had suspected or known about the way the Dursleys treated me?” Potter said all in one breath, trailing off at the end. 

Severus looked down at his glass, already knowing what Potter was getting at. After he had confronted Albus, he had asked the Headmaster to keep him out of it. After all, he did have a reputation to uphold. Moreover, he did not want Potter to confuse what he had done as an act of caring, because it wasn’t damn it.

“I guess, sir, what I am asking,” Potter continued after a few beats, as Severus had stayed silent, “if you might have had anything to do with the fact of bringing it to Professor Dumbledore’s attention, sir?” 

Severus traced the rim of the glass with his fingers in consideration. He could easily deny it to Potter, say it wasn't him. But, on the other hand, he couldn't deny that Potter had no sense of stopping until he got answers. Meaning, he would find out eventually that it had been Severus. And, Severus was sure that, if not heard from him, Potter would definitely confuse the main reason behind the act. Briefly, it flickered in his mind that deep down, maybe, Severus wanted Potter to know it had been him. 

Making a decision, Severus sighed, looking up at Potter. 

“It had - indeed - been me, Potter, who had brought it to Dumbledore’s attention,” Severus answered, trying to drawl the words out in his usual voice, crossing his legs to obtain a casual stance. 

He watched as Potter stared at him, frozen, and he slightly revelled in the fact that he had made Potter speechless. He would never admit to the fact that the unresponsiveness made his heart beat faster as nerves built in his veins. 

Finally, Potter breathed out one word, ''Why?''

Severus had expected that, although he had hoped Potter would forego asking that question. 

Again, Severus knew he could lie. Tell Potter it wasn't any of his business and send him away. But, for some reason, his heart did not want to lie to the boy - knew deep down Potter deserved to, at least, know the truth as to why he had done it. And, briefly, before he spoke, he thought, _He hadn't followed his heart in months, years even, so why now, for Potter?_ , and he huffed. 

“Not that it’s really any of your business why I do what I do, but I know what it’s like to grow up in an abusive home, Potter, and no matter what people might think or say about me, I am not a complete bastard to let someone - anyone - continue to live in a situation like that.” 

Potter stayed silent, too long, and Severus was already regretting pouring out too much of his personal life to a student, his walls disappearing in front of a student - Potter, no less. Until Potter spoke. 

“Thank you, sir,” Potter said, “Thank you so much.” The words were spoken so softly, laced with gratefulness, and Severus felt his heart swell in his chest. _Fuck._

Before he could manage against it, protest against it, Severus felt himself smile a small smile, a slight upturn of the corners of his mouth. 

''No problem, Harry,'' Severus heard himself say, the first name rolling easily and pleasantly of his tongue, and _what the fuck_. Of course, of course, he had to make it worse - and more difficult - for himself by using Potter's first name. And also, _no problem?_

_Oh Salazar, what was Potter doing to him?_

“I -,” Potter said, before apparently rethinking himself, instead saying, “Right, sir, thank you. I should be leaving right now, curfew and all.”

Potter's tone was off, slightly breathless, as he quickly made his way to the door. Severus stood, nodding. _He might actually get his thoughts and mind together, now that Potter is leaving_ , Severus thought.

''And Potter?'' Severus called out. 

He watched Potter turn from where he was almost out the door, ''Yes, sir?''

“Do not mistake everything we have talked about as me caring for you. You are still an impertinent brat,” Severus said, knowing that it was more to justify the feelings and thoughts he'd had for himself. _Didn't hurt to let Potter know, though_. 

But, instead of the outburst or hurt he had expected, Severus saw Potter smile, before Potter spoke in the soft voice he had used to thank Severus previously, “I wouldn’t expect otherwise, Professor,” - making Severus' heart _definitely not_ stutter in his chest. 

The door closed behind Potter as the boy left, and Severus dropped himself on his chair with a groan. _Merlin, what was happening to him?_

Somehow, he had managed to let his guard down in front of Potter several times now. More times than he had done with any student. Not even Draco had seen him the way Potter had, which was saying something. 

Severus was able to deceive the Dark Lord, portray himself as a loyal servant whilst spying for the Light, but the moment it came to Potter, it felt as if there was no way to control himself - to control the mask and walls he had put up years ago. 

_Fuck, he really needed to get a grip on himself_ , Severus decided. _Or else, he was definitely in for a disaster._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading ! Hope you liked it, please let me know what you thought ! ^^
> 
> I'll try to have the next chapter up during the weekend <33


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey loves, I am sorry, I am late with updating but life is a mess haha 
> 
> Buttt, here is a chapter (which is not amazingly written, sorry) and I hope you like it ! 
> 
> Just a warning, there will be an R-rated scene (masturbation) at the end of the chapter - so, don't like, don't read, loves ;) You can always just skip it :) 
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes ! xx
> 
>  
> 
> _I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story._

Harry made his way down to the Dungeons, preparing himself to face Snape for another lesson. 

The extra lessons had been going well - as well as it could be between Harry and Snape. Insults were thrown, which was no surprise, but at least it hadn’t come to hexing each other or breaking anything. 

Snape had - mostly - taught Harry in Potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts. Today was Potions-day, and to Harry’s surprise he was actually excited. He had come to find Potions calming, fun, when there were no Slytherins (read, Malfoy) around to mess with his Potion. 

A bonus was having Snape as a tutor, Harry thought - definitely only because he’s a Potions Master, _not_ because Harry had suddenly noticed how attractive the man is. Especially, when said Professor was concentrating on a Potion, slightly bend over the cauldron and making his hair curtain around his face, teeth biting his lower lip in concentration, hands and long fingers cutting and throwing in ingredients whilst stirring. Yeah, no, definitely not because of that. ~~It’s not like Harry had been thinking about him, constantly.~~

Harry sighed as he approached Snape’s classroom, he still had to get through the lesson, best to push those thoughts to the back of his mind ~~(for later).~~

Harry knocked on the door, stepping through when Snape’s voice called out to let him in. 

“Potter, you’re awfully early, how surprising. Quite eager, aren’t we?” Snape drawled, not looking up from the cauldron he was leaning over, stirring the rod with one hand. 

Harry’s breath hitched, heat flaring up in his stomach, _so much for getting through a lesson_. How much he wished to hear that voice, and that statement, in quite another setting. Harry shook his head and cleared his throat. 

''Right, sir,'' Harry said, a nervous laugh bubbling up from his throat, moving towards the desk in the front - which had become his usual spot. He dropped his bag, pulling out his new textbook - which he’d gotten from Dumbledore, after he’d announced Harry’s extra lessons - and taking off his robes. 

“Get your ingredients to start on the Draught of Living Death,” Snape said, and Harry nodded, moving towards the room with ingredients to get what he’d need, stopping on his way back to grab his cauldron. 

He neatly put the ingredients on the desk, heating the cauldron, before starting to add the ingredients as written in his textbook. 

-

Harry was focused on the Potion, humming softly - then, frowning a bit when he tried to cut the Sopophorous beans, only for them to roll away under his knife - that he didn’t hear Snape coming over to stand behind him. It was when the man spoke that Harry became aware of his presence and Harry jumped.

“You crush them, under your knife. Don’t cut them,” Snape said from behind him, as he watched from across Harry’s shoulder. Warm breath hit the back of his neck and Harry shivered slightly. A hand reached over him and Harry saw as Snape placed another bean on his table and he frowned, “You should also add 13 Sopophorous beans, not 12,” Snape’s voice rung out softly. 

Harry looked down at the beans, then towards the instructions in his textbook. “But -,” he started to say, hearing Snape sigh and he bit his lip, keeping silent. 

He looked back down at the beans, before reluctantly doing as Snape said. He put the knife on top of the bean and pressed down, watching as the bean split and Harry smiled in glee, picking it up to press out the juices into his cauldron. 

As he finished putting the juices of the last bean into the Potion, Snape spoke again. 

“Instead of only stirring anticlockwise seven times, also stir clockwise one time.” 

Harry did everything as he was told, watching with amazement as the Potion turned into the pale lilac color the textbook mentioned it would - at first. He turned the heat low, letting the liquid simmer.

He turned his head towards Snape, breath hitching a bit as he took in how close the man was actually standing to him. 

“Why doesn’t it say so in the textbook though, sir?” Harry asked curiously. 

Snape cleared his throat, stepping back a bit, and Harry tried to ignore the disappointment he felt. 

“These are instructions I added to making the Potion,” Snape said after a moment of silence and Harry’s eyes grew wide. 

“You added the instructions?” Harry whispered, before something clicked in his mind. Since the First Year, Harry can’t remember ever actually having used his textbook to concoct Potions. This was the only time Snape had allowed him to use it. They would usually concoct the Potions with instructions written on the board - instructions written by Snape. Harry furrowed his brows, _would that mean that all those recipes were edited versions, edited by Snape - himself?_

He snapped his head up to look at Snape, eyes locking on black, assessing, ones. 

“Sir,” Harry began, his curiosity peaked, “all those lessons, all those recipes on the board. Were those all your recipes?” Harry asked softly. 

Snape watched Harry, before turning and walking to the front of the classroom, leaning over the cauldron he’d been standing behind when Harry had walked in around an hour ago. 

“Indeed they were, Potter,” Snape said, eyes still watching the liquid simmering inside his own cauldron. 

“Oh,” Harry said, eyes wide and voice filled with awe. His heart jumped in his chest, a feeling like amazement and, oddly, pride warming him all over - and why the fuck would he feel _proud._ His stomach flared slightly, heat coiling, he noticed absentmindedly.

_Fuck,_ Harry thought, _he was utterly and completely fucked._

Harry blinked his eyes, noticing he was still idiotically staring at his Professor - said man watching him with a sneer and a raised eyebrow, although Harry believed to see a small amount of amusement in Snape’s eyes. 

Snape removed his cauldron, turning off the heat, before nodding at Harry’s cauldron. “Remove it and turn it off, Potter.” 

Harry nodded, “Right,” he said as he got removed the cauldron, _if only turning it off was so easy, fuck_. He shook his head, he needed to stop this - this infatuation, or whatever it was. It definitely wasn’t helping him. He turned off the heat, before dragging his eyes back up to Snape. 

“You can have the rest of the day off,” Snape said with a nod, and Harry felt slight disappointment rush through his body, “if you are interested, Potter, we could have dinner in my rooms tonight, so we could discuss the rest of your lessons.” 

Harry froze, blinking, _it’s not what you think it is, you idiot. Merely for discussing lessons._ Harry still couldn’t help the ideas that ran through his mind, though, his stomach coiling with heat and desire at the images. 

He cleared his throat desperately, “Of course, sir, I’ll be there,” Harry said with a small smile, voice slightly higher than usual. 

Snape nodded and Harry gathered his bag and robe, before nearly bolting from the classroom to his dorms, his pants tight around his crotch and mind still flashing with pictures. 

-

The moment he bursted through the door of his dorms, Harry dumped his bag and robe on the floor and let himself fall backwards on his bed. 

He closed his eyes, images flashing across the front of his mind. 

_Snape stirring a Potion, lean fingers wrapped around the rod._

_Snape cutting ingredients, fingers delicately wrapping around the knife and ingredients._

_Snape’s hair curtaining his face._

_Snape’s breath across his neck as he stood behind Harry._

Harry sat up to take his shirt and jeans off, leaving him in his pants, as his thoughts expanded. 

_Snape leaning in, blowing breath on his ear, before silkily whispering in his deep, low voice. “Quite eager, aren’t we?”_

_Snape turning him around, only to push him back against the desk, pressing against Harry._

Harry bit his lip, fingers running across his chest - circling and pinching his nipples - as he imagined Snape’s long and thin fingers, instead. 

Harry let his mind wander to tonight, letting himself fantasize as to what he’d like to happen between him and Snape, instead of discussing lessons. 

He let his hand trail down, palming his erection through the damp cloth of his pants and he bucked his hips with a moan. 

_Snape’s hand stroking him, fingers wrapped around him, as a thumb stroked his head, catching the precum._

Harry let his hand slide inside his pants, taking himself out and he squeezed softly, before starting to stroke himself. 

_Snape’s breath on his cock, tongue lapping, a warm mouth engulfing him, taking him in._

_Snape’s cock in his mouth_ , Harry moaned at that, two fingers of his free hand moving up to his mouth to act out the image in his mind and he let his lips wrap around them, sucking. 

_Snape’s fingers inside him, opening him up - slowly, stroking his walls._

Harry moaned around his fingers, his strokes speeding up as he fucked up into his fist, muscles in his lower stomach tensing. 

_Snape thrusting into him, taking full control over Harry, roughly fucking into him._

Harry released the fingers that were in his mouth, trailing them wetly across his chest and he pinched his nipple. Harry gasped, letting himself imagine what Snape would look like as he would finish. _Furrowed brows, mouth open in a low groan._

Harry bucked once, twice, before he came with a shout, painting his stomach and fingers with white, hot stripes. 

He panted, releasing the grip on his cock, before casting a Cleaning Charm on himself, letting the magic wash over him. He dropped an arm across his eyes. _Oh Merlin, he just jerked off to the thought of his Professor - again. The third time this week. He was done for._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading ! I hope it was an okay chapter; please let me know what you thought about it ! ^^ 
> 
> I added the part of Harry discovering Severus' editing of the recipes, because personally I think Sev's intelligence is fucking sexy hahaha 
> 
> I will try and update during the weekend - a chapter about the dinner at Snape's <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloo my loves <3 (see end notes for warnings please!)
> 
> I am terribly sorry for this late update, but shit has been going down with family as well as studying has been a thing (exams in a week, help me).
> 
> But here is a bit of a longer chapter, it is written in a bit of a rush, so I'm sorry if it really sucks, but I hope you enjoy it all the same ! ;p
> 
> I'm sorry for any mistakes ! xx
> 
>  
> 
> _I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story._

“Of course, sir, I’ll be there,” Potter answered. Severus frowned at Potter's voice, which sounded slightly higher than usual, a bit more breathier, in a way Severus would love to - Severus mentally shook his head, _no._

Severus nodded his head at Potter, dismissing him wordlessly, and watched as Potter took off from the classroom.

Severus really did only invite Potter to discuss their upcoming lessons, as they merely had slightly more than a week left until the new year started and Severus had a few things in mind that he wanted to teach Potter - also things that did not have a place to be taught in the classroom - _no, stop_ , Severus thought to himself. 

Potter was his student, not yet of age ( _just one year, though,_ Severus' mind reminded him, but he shook it off quickly). This was the son of Lily and James Potter - _for Merlin's sake._

And, what? Just because the boy hadn’t had the life Severus had expected he’d have, had had rough experiences (and, still has, Severus adds mentally), suddenly he feels - what? - _connected, attracted_ to the boy? Sure, he had noticed Potter before, but all of a sudden it had developed into wanting. He scoffed mentally, shaking the thoughts away. 

Severus could not allow himself to indulge in these _fantasies,_ or whatever they were. He just really needed to get laid, or something, that was all. ~~Most preferably by Potter.~~

_Salazar, help him._

-

As Severus was putting the last finishing touches to their dinner, the clock in the living room chimed, indicating that it was six o’clock. Meaning that Potter would be here any minute. 

Severus had owled Potter with the time, after he realized that - during their conversation - neither had spoken about a time. Potter had replied affirmatively, and Severus had been left to his own thoughts ~~(about Potter).~~

Finally, he had decided to cook himself - as a distraction from the thoughts running through his head. It had done what he’d wanted, as he’d been too caught up in making the dinner just right to notice the time until his clock had chimed. 

Severus spelled the counter and his hands clean, bringing the pots over to the table to put them in the middle. He surveyed the table for any sign of missing items, but nodded once when he saw none. 

Somewhere in the back of his mind, a nagging voice told him that it was looking too much like a _date_. That he was acting too _date-like,_ that he was making a bigger deal out of this dinner than he had planned on. But Severus shook those thoughts away, he was only getting in his own head. 

Moreover, he had made it perfectly clear to Potter (and, himself) that it’s only to discuss their lessons and the upcoming weeks, nothing else. _Not that he’d want anything else,_ Severus thinks - albeit, not too convincingly, but that, he doesn’t pay any mind. 

A knock sounded on the door, thankfully pulling him from his thoughts - which were spiralling down a dangerous road again - and Severus threw one last look at the table, before walking over to the door to open it. 

His gaze fell on Potter, who was standing there in dark trousers and a white - quite fitting, Severus noticed ~~appreciatively~~ \- button-up. His green eyes were glowing, a smile painted on his face as he looked at Severus - waiting for Severus to invite him in, _oh right._

Severus cleared his throat and stepped aside, “You’re late, Potter,” Severus deadpanned. 

Potter only chuckled with a shrug, before stepping inside. “Sorry,” he said, not sounding sorry at all. 

Severus gestured to the table, where everything was set and ready, “Dinner?” 

Potter nodded, before moving to one of the chairs, Severus following behind. They took their place at the table and Severus waved his hand to remove the lids of the pots, the smell of potatoes and beef wafting up between them. Severus waved his hand once more to fill their plates. 

He closed the lids again, before picking up his cutlery and sitting back, watching Potter do the same.

-

Throughout dinner Severus had watched Potter closely for his reactions, although definitely not to see if he’d like the food that Severus had made himself. And, he had definitely not felt a rush of satisfaction (and, definitely not a slight rush of arousal) going through him, as Potter had moaned appreciatively at the taste of the beef. 

Severus had almost choked at the sound, immediately - after recovering - picking up conversation about the upcoming weeks and the course of their private lessons, which is what they were here for primarily amway ~~(and, it had - again - started to feel too much like a date).~~

They had made some plans for the first block of the year; they had decided to continue the private lessons, meeting up for at least two times a week (more, if both had time for it or if circumstances would ask for it). After the first block, they will meet up again, to start planning for the second block, and so on. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Severus vaguely noted a distinct feeling of being pleased, but he shoved it away. 

After dinner, Severus waved his hand, Banishing everything to the kitchen, deciding he’d deal with that later. 

“That was amazing,” Potter commented, and Severus felt pride rush through him. “Thank you,” he said. 

Potter’s head snapped up at him, eyes wide, “You _made_ this?” 

Severus frowned, and threw a look at Potter, “Surprised, Potter? I teach _Potions_ , of course I can cook.” 

Potter nodded, eyes still on Severus, “Right, right, sorry,” Potter said, “Like I said, it really was amazing,” Potter said again and Severus nodded. 

He looked Potter up and down, sighing, “Care for a drink?” he asked, “Non-alcoholic,” he added as an afterthought, as - once more - he got reminded of the boy’s age. 

Potter watched him for a few seconds, before he nodded his head with a small smile, “Please,” he said, moving to sit on the couch. 

Severus grabbed two glasses, filling one with Pumpkin Juice - for Potter - and the other with Firewhisky - for himself. 

“Thank you,” Potter said, eyes locking with Severus’, their hands brushing softly past each other and Severus cleared his throat, nodding his head and walked to take his place in his usual seat in the chair across from the couch.

Silence washed over them - although, not entirely uncomfortably - as they sipped their drinks. 

After a few minutes, Potter cleared his throat and Severus looked up. 

“Have you heard anything from Headmaster Dumbledore, sir?” Potter asked, “I - haven’t really seen him around, I was wondering if you had heard from him,” he finished uncertainly. 

_Right,_ Severus thought, Albus had vanished the day after he’d announced to both Potter and him that they’d be engaging in extra lessons. Severus remembers Albus vaguely speaking about ‘taking care’ of some business, though what kind of business Severus had no clue about. 

“I haven’t, Potter, all I know, is that Albus had to take care of some things,” Severus answered, not wanting to let loose too much, but he could already see Potter starting to frown - the gears in his head probably turning and he could already see the next question coming. 

“What things?” Potter asked, and Severus sighed. 

“I don’t know, Potter, he did not enlighten me nor did I ask,” he answered, quietly adding, “Who knows what _business_ that old fool even takes care of?” 

A small, supressed giggle cut him out of his thoughts and he looked at Potter to see him with a hand pressed across his mouth, shoulders shaking softly. Severus lifted his brow in question. 

“Maybe his business is taking care of his insane sense of fashion,” Potter answered breathlessly, still giggling from his own joke and Severus snorted softly, quickly covering it up with a cough. The boy had a point, though, Albus did have an insane sense of fashion - if one could even call it fashion. 

“You just laughed,” Potter suddenly said, and Severus blankly looked at him, “I did not laugh, Potter.” 

“Did too, or - well, at least you kind of laughed, you _snorted_ ,” Potter said gleefully, with a giggle, and Severus shook his head - steadfastly ignoring the amusement ~~and slight affection~~ in his chest. 

“I did _not_ , Potter, you’re hearing things.” 

“Yeah, I’m hearing things, I heard you snort, most definitely, no matter what you say,” Potter said.

Severus watched Potter, a grin planted on his face, his green eyes shining brightly. And - unwittingly - he felt the corners of his mouth lift the slightest bit. 

“Fine, I may have snorted, softly,” Severus conceded. Potter whooped softly and Severus bit his lip to stop the corners of his mouth from lifting even more, and quickly - with some effort - schooled his features back into his usual stoic look. 

Potter sighed and Severus looked at him, as the boy spoke again. 

“I never liked you, hated you, to be really honest,” Potter started, and Severus ignored - and denied - the slight and sudden clenching in his heart. He would hate him, too, if he were Potter. Hell, he hated himself just being himself, Severus thought. 

“I always thought you were unfair, egoistic, in the way you acted towards me. Not only me, my friends as well.” Severus clenched his fingers around his glass, _that’s because he is, or was, he doesn’t know._

“But,” Potter said, “I might have been completely off about that, about you, no I’m pretty sure I was completely off. You _helped_ me, and I know I already thanked you for that, but you don’t know what it meant, means, to me. You treat me like me, not like Harry Potter - the Boy Who fucking Lived, and I’ve found that maybe you are not who I thought you were. I don’t know why, or how, but I feel comfortable with and around you. I think I may have always felt that way, but that feeling got overshadowed by my need to dislike you, but since - since Sirius died, that need isn’t, hasn’t been, there anymore, instead the feeling of safety grew,” Potter said, chuckling softly, “I guess, what I want to say, is thank you for being there for me, making me feel safe, comfortable, wanted, even if you don’t mean it in the way I’m seeing and taking up on it.” 

Severus’ heart was beating fast, too fast, and his mind was foggy - which, never happens, he realizes somewhere through the fog. Footsteps approaching make him look up again, and he stands up in confusion as he sees Potter walking over to him. 

Potter stops in front of him, hand reaching out to take his glass of Firewhisky out of his hand to place it on the table behind him, before he turned to face Severus again. Severus looked down at Potter, their eyes locking. He knew he had to step away, step back, something, but he was frozen - waiting to see what Potter would do, although a voice in the back of his mind had a pretty decent idea of what was going on. 

They looked at each other, before Potter lifted a hand to brush his fingers across Severus’ cheek, before cupping the hand across the side of his face. Severus stood frozen, as Potter leaned in - slowly, giving Severus time to back out, back off, but he didn’t, even when several voices, red lights and alarms in his mind told him to. 

Warm, slightly chapped lips pressed down on his and he felt Potter sigh against him at the contact, the hand on his cheek tightening as Potter’s other arm came to link around his neck to bring him closer. Severus’ arms encircled Potter’s waist on their own accord, as their lips moved softly and slowly against each other. Everything in his mind clicked, feeling just right, the worries and stress getting pushed back, getting dulled and he tightened his grip on Harry’s waist, _Harry._ Their lips moved in sync, Harry's fingers caressing the nape of his neck.

The wet tip of Harry’s tongue traced Severus’ lower lip, and Severus swallowed a groan, and he harshly got tugged back to reality. He dropped his arms from around Harry - _Potter, fuck,_ he thought, _it’s Potter_ \- and stepped aside, away from the boy. _For Merlin’s sake, a boy._

He watched as Potter dazedly opened his eyes, blinking, confusion clouding them and stepped back once more as Potter stepped forward. Potter frowned, “Severus?” he called softly.

Severus’ breath hitched at the sound of his first name falling from Harry's - Potter’s lips, and he almost let himself give in, _almost,_ but he took another step back - purely for good measure. 

Severus shook his head at Potter, “Don’t call me that,” he said, his voice was shaking and he cursed inwardly. “We can’t do this.” 

Potter’s arms - reaching out for him - dropped, the eyes that were shining not even a minute ago, suddenly turning dull, the pain clearly visible and Severus clenched his hands at his sides. 

“You kissed back,” Potter said, his voice hard. Severus started to shake his head, but Potter was looking at him, his stare cold and full of pain, betrayal. 

“You kissed _back_ ,” Potter repeated, his voice louder, “Why would you kiss me back?” 

“We can’t do this, Potter,” Severus said, knowing that there’s no point in denying Potter’s statement, as he - also - knew full well that he’d indeed kissed Potter back. 

“It was a mistake,” Severus told him instead, immediately seeing the effect of his words on Potter - immediately wanting to take them back, but he knew this was the best thing to do. The best thing for the both of them. 

“It was a mistake,” Potter repeated Severus, his voice soft and disbelieving. Potter’s voice was lifeless, his eyes dull and his body was shaking, Severus noted. “It was a mistake.” 

Potter took a step back, as if being physically stricken by the words, and Severus fingers twitched to reach out. Green eyes locked with black ones. 

“It wasn’t a mistake for me,” Potter said, “ _You_ aren’t a mistake for me.” 

Potter walked to the door, Severus’ eyes following him. Potter paused at the door, looking back over his shoulder. 

“You kissed back,” Potter said softly, before he walked out, the door softly closing behind him and Severus sat down on his chair, burying his face into his hands with a sigh, ignoring the wetness that was filling his palms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Warnings: some underage, student/teacher - if you don't like it please don't read/skip it.) 
> 
> Thank you for reading ! I hope that was alright, and that you enjoyed it ! <3 
> 
> Please let me know what you thought ^^
> 
> The next chapter will hopefully be up this week, I'll try my best, but I can't promise anything :( Otherwise, next week it will definitely be here (after my exams) ^^ xx


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovess <3 Here is the newest chapter ^^.
> 
> I am sorry it's a bit late and short - and quite bad, I'm so sorry - but a lot has been happening the past few days (exams, my dad getting hospitalized etc.), so I didn't have that much time to write, but I'll try my absolute best to bring you a longer next chapter ! ;) <3 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter, nonetheless ! ^^
> 
> Warning(s): watch out for some underage/explicit thoughts 
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes xx
> 
>  
> 
> _I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story._

Harry stepped out into the cold air of the Dungeons, the door closing softly behind him, the sound echoing through the stoned halls. 

In a daze, Harry walked his way back to the Gryffindor tower. 

_He just kissed Severus Snape; his Potions Professor. And it was amazing_ , it echoed through his mind.

Well, it was, until said Professor pulled back, voicing it to be a mistake. 

Harry sighed, he didn’t even know when Snape had become _this_ attractive to him, when he’d started seeing Snape in a whole different light, and when Snape had become _Severus_.

Of course, he'd thought about Snape. He was a teenager after all and working closely with someone for weeks is bound to have an effect on him. 

All of that had happened in a span of a few weeks. They had spent lessons together - brewing, occasionally talking - and Harry had gone over to Snape’s quarters four exact times; the time he went to confront Snape, then during the first week of their lessons, during the third week of their lessons, and today. 

But, it had always been in a _'I want you to push me over your desk and fuck me'_ \- way. It had never been in this desperate way; the _'I want to kiss you and fuck you, but also make you smile, cuddle you, and wake up next to you'_ \- way. 

All Harry knew, is, when he was opening his heart up to Snape, that Snape was looking at him with such an open, honest expression - nothing like his usual cold and distant attitude - that the only thing Harry could feel was exactly that desperate feeling. 

And all Harry could think of to do, his heart swelling inside his chest, was to walk over there and kiss the man. So, he did.

Harry hasn’t kissed a lot of people. There was Ginny, which had mostly been an in the moment kiss, during the summer after he’d saved her from Riddle’s diary - if you could call that even a kiss. 

Then, there was Cedric - with whom he had a thing during the Triwizard year, and who had made him realize that ‘yep, Harry definitely also had a thing for guys.’ 

And then there was Cho, during their Dumbledore’s Army training, which - again - mostly was an in the moment kiss.

But, this kiss with Snape - this kiss was by far the best that Harry’s had. It might have been an in the moment kiss, but the moment it was over, Harry had wanted to pull the man right back and kiss him again. His mind had floated, his hands had wanted to grasp at every part of Snape, his lips tingling. But then, Snape had to go and pull away. 

Harry sighed heavily, walking into the Gryffindor Common Room and letting himself fall onto the couch in front of the fireplace. He stared at its burning flames, following the waves it made with his eyes, his mind filled with thoughts.

Before long, Harry felt his eyes drooping, his body going limp and his mind slipping away - his dreams filled with scenes of soft and desperate kisses. 

-

Harry awoke with a start, his back cramped up from sleeping on the couch and he groaned, letting himself fall back onto the couch again. 

A look at the clock above the fireplace - showing him that it was currently nine in the morning - told him that he’d slept through the whole night and was expected in Snape’s classroom in an hour, assuming the lesson was still planned - seeing as it is their last lesson planned for this summer, before the new year begins. 

Harry sighed, trailing a hand down his face. He really did not want to face Snape after what happened yesterday; after Harry had kissed him, and Snape had rejected him. 

Though, Harry had a clearer mind at the moment and didn’t entirely blame Snape for rejecting him.

After all, Harry had jumped Snape - quite unexpectedly. And even if Snape had kissed back - which Harry was still certain about - Harry had put Snape in that position. Had been selfish right after, not stopping to consider Snape’s thoughts and feelings - which Harry knows the man has, no matter what the Professor says to deny it - but only focusing on what it had meant to _him_. 

Moreover, no matter how civil they might have been getting around each other since the lessons had started, it didn’t mean that Snape - unlike Harry, who did, regarding Snape - completely grew out of his averseness towards Harry. 

On top of that, Harry was the son of James Potter, and Lily Potter; two classmates of Snape himself, from the same year. And, judging from what he’d seen in Fifth Year - from Snape’s memories - they had not been _friendly_ , at all. At least, his father and Snape hadn’t been. 

Harry doesn’t regret the kiss - not at all, he would do it again in the blink of an eye. Harry only regrets the way it happened. 

Harry cast another look at the clock, noting that ten minutes have passed. 

Once more, Harry sighed, before he dragged himself off the couch, making way to get ready.

He’d have to talk to Snape, apologize for his behaviour. 

All he hoped, was that they wouldn’t lose the civility - almost friendship, to Harry - they had built between each other. Not now.

\- 

Harry fiddled with his hands, as he made his way down the Dungeons. His body was thrumming, shaking. He really did not want to mess this up - a voice in the back of his mind told him he already had, by kissing the man - as Snape was, currently, the only one he _really_ had in his life; the only one who really understood him. 

Of course he had his best friends, the Weasley family and Dumbledore - and he'd always be grateful for and to them, for being there for him, helping him out when needed - but it’s not the same as having Snape in his life, around him. 

Not only did Snape know, and understand, what he’d gone through back at the Dursleys - not to mention, made effort to stop it - but they also had this, almost, easy atmosphere around them lately. 

During the lessons, they would easily work around each other in the classroom, at moments even work together on a Potion. They wouldn’t talk much - just enjoying the brewing and working - but when they would, it wasn’t like how it used to be; the snapping, insulting and throwing hexes. Instead, they joked around, and bickered wittingly. 

Harry bit his lip, as he stood in front of the closed door of the Potions classroom. He let his arms drop beside his body, closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, before exhaling slowly. 

Harry raised his hand, knocking softly on the door. Cracking the door open slightly, he stuck his head through it to peek inside, seeing the Professor behind his desk - a quill in his hand as he made some notes. 

Snape’s head raised up, black eyes locking with Harry’s and expression going inconsiderably blank - blanker than usual - and Harry’s stomach plummeted. 

Harry slowly stepped through the door, lingering inside its opening. 

“Goodmorning sir,” he began softly, “could I talk to you?” 

Snape stared at him, before his eyes flicked back to the paper on his desk. 

“Sit down,” Snape said, the tone of his voice hard. 

Harry swallowed, before doing as told. He slowly sat down, eyes on the Professor - sitting tensely behind the desk. 

His knee bounced, as he waited for the Professor to look at him, talk to him. 

It was several moments later that, finally, Snape put down his quill and shuffled the papers together, before putting them aside. The man clasped his hands together in front of them, before pinning Harry with a glare, an eyebrow raised expectantly.

Silence surrounded them and Harry tapped his fingers against his legs, squirming as Snape kept his dark gaze on him. 

Finally, Harry exhaled shakingly.

His own feelings be damned, he couldn’t lose Snape - even if it was as a civil acquaintance, or a friend. Not now, not when he’d seen what it’s like to be within the good graces of the man, when he’d seen what it’s like to joke around with the man and comfortably work together. When he’d seen what the man was like behind that stoic mask.

So, Harry took a breath, ordering his thoughts, before he opened his mouth to talk, explain himself, and try from fucking it up entirely with Snape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank youu so much for reading ! Hope you liked it, please let me know what you thought about it ! <3 
> 
> As I said, I'll try to update with a longer chapter next time ;) xx ❤


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloo loves <3 
> 
> I am sorry that I am updating quite late, and also with a quite short chapter (again), but I have been really busy with uni and also some personal issues (my dad and everything). 
> 
> Buutt, here is the next chapter (it is shit, I am sorry) <3 
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes ! 
> 
>  
> 
> _I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story._

Severus watched Potter jiggle his leg up and down, as he sat at one of the table's in Severus' classroom. Severus waited quietly - although, impatiently - for the boy to speak.

When Severus had stood from his bed in the morning, after a restless night of tossing and turning, he had hoped the boy would not show for their last lesson - not feeling in the mood to see the one person who made him feel what he hadn't felt for years, on top of that a person who shouldn't make him feel like that. 

But, whatever was out there or up there hadn't shown him any mercy and Potter had showed up just in time for their lesson - _of course he had to be on time today_ , Severus thought fleetingly, bitterly. 

Severus heard Potter inhale sharply and Severus shook himself from his thoughts and locked his eyes on Potter, watching as Potter opened and closed his mouth a few times. Severus let out a sigh in annoyance, in warning, and Potter cleared his throat and finally began to speak. 

''I - uhm, sir, Snape -,'' Potter stuttered out, and Severus groaned inwardly. 

''Today, Potter,'' Severus snapped, his voice echoing through the classroom. 

Severus watched Potter flinch, a small squeak leaving the boy's mouth, and he felt a bit of glee thrum through his veins, accompanied with a bit of sympathy, but the latter he quickly pushed away. 

Potter licked his lips, nervously, and Severus' eyes reflexively dropped down. His eyes traced the outline of the Gryffindor's pink lips for a moment, taking in the slick shine Potter's tongue had left behind, before Severus snapped himself out of it, mentally scolding himself. _What is he doing?_

Severus tapped his fingers against his desk in annoyance, _would the boy just get on with it?_

At least, then, Severus would be able to let Potter down - once more, although harshly this time, to ensure Potter wouldn't get any other ideas in his head and Severus could stop himself from feeling the way he does - and he could get out the bottle of Firewhisky he kept in his desk drawer for emergencies.

 _And_ , he thought, _he definitely counted this as an emergency._

Potter's voice, as the boy spoke up again, brought him out of his reverie. 

''I am sorry,'' Potter said, and Severus' head snapped up in confusion, his dark eyes narrowing at the boy. 

Potter took a breath, ''I am sorry for yesterday, for kissing you.''’

Severus' eyes widened slightly, _Potter was apologizing? To him?_

''I shouldn't have kissed you,'' - _and here we go,_ Severus thought, how ironic. He let the boy down yesterday, although he had not wanted to deep down, he had to. How could he not have expected for the boy to come to his senses and let _him_ down instead, in the end, and that a day after. Severus almost bitterly chuckled at that thought - ''even if I had really wanted to, and I would do it again, I should not have done that.'' 

The thoughts stopped whirling in his mind, and Severus let the words sink. 

_What? Wait, what?_

Severus' mind was reeling, but he forced himself to focus on what Potter was saying, as he watched the boy's mouth move - sound falling on silent ears, but he forcibly tuned himself back. 

'' - should have taken your thoughts and feelings into consideration, I shouldn't have acted on mine only, quite impulsively as well, and I shouldn't have outright kissed you without giving you either a warning or asking if it was okay.''

Potter was silent for a moment, eyes locking with Severus', as he looked up from where he was looking at his fiddling hands. 

''I really am sorry,'' Potter said, after a pause, and Severus watched as Potter bit his lip, before continuing, ''in all honesty, I don't think I will be able to forget about the kiss and pretend it never happened, but I do hope we are able to not let this get between us, between whatever civility we have right now,'' Potter finished. 

Severus' heart was pounding inside his chest, his mind whirling with thoughts. _What does he say? What was he supposed to say?_

Potter had consciously made the decision to kiss him, although impulsively? He was not here to let Severus down? Instead he had apologized for his _behaviour?_

Briefly, Severus thought, _Potter surely had proven himself to be completely different from his father._ He quickly shook that thought away, _now was not the time to muse about that,_ he reminded himself. 

Severus was silent for minutes, trying to order the thoughts flitting through his mind, trying to figure out what he was supposed to say - what he was supposed to say back, responsibly, in this situation, when all he wanted to do at the moment was repeat Potter's impulsive action from yesterday. 

Potter sighed and stood up, making move to walk away, and Severus' mind fell silent, making him blurt out the first thing that came up in his mind in an effort to stop Potter from leaving. 

''I can't forget it either,'' Severus heard himself say, and _fuck_ , that is exactly what he had _not_ wanted to say, what he had tried to avoid saying. 

All he had wanted, was to say that it was not possible for the both of them to get involved, seeing as Severus is Potter's Professor. Not to mention that Severus is spying against the Dark Lord, and if _he_ found out, they were all finished. Most importantly, he wanted Potter to understand that those thoughts - about him and Potter together - had to vanish from the Gryffindor's mind, that it would never be possible nor acceptable for them to be together. _And, he doesn't know who he'd be trying to convince by saying that._

But, now it was too late. He had already let it slip out of his mouth. And, well, he _had_ managed to stop Potter from leaving, Severus thought - rolling his eyes at himself. 

Severus watched as Potter froze mid-air from standing up from the stool, jaw dropping and eyes going wide as he watched Severus. 

Severus inhaled shakily. _Well, here goes nothing_ , Severus thought. 

''I can't forget it either,'' he repeated softly, watching Potter sit back down slowly, ''I don't want to forget it either.''

Severus watched as Potter's eyebrows shot up, surprise etched on his face. 

''But, we can't have a repeat of that, we can't get involved,'' Severus continued, ''at least not now. You are sixteen, Potter, you are not of age, and I am your Professor. It's highly unethical. On top of that, we have the issue of the Dark Lord, if he finds out I am involved with you or vice versa, we are both done for, Potter. And, we'll never be able to defeat him.''

Severus could see the realisation dawning on Potter's face. How could he not have known that Potter most probably had never thought of it that way. 

Severus watched as Potter looked at him with a sheepish expression etched on his face, eyes wide, and Severus almost chuckled in amusement. Count on Potter to actually _embody_ the Gryffindor House, traits and all.

''Right,'' Potter said, chuckling a bit sheepishly. 

''Right,'' Severus repeated back at Potter, not able to keep the amusement out of his voice completely. 

The air between them fell silent for a few moments. 

''So,'' Potter said, drawing the word out, ''we are good?''

Severus rolled his eyes, nonchalantly picked up his quill and went back to taking notes. The corners of his mouth lifted slightly, though, as he answered back, a few moments later. 

''We are good, Potter, we are good.''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, loves ! I hope you liked it, even if it was shitty ;p 
> 
> Please let me know what you thought about it ! <3 
> 
> Next chapter will hopefully be up at the end of this week, I am gonna try my best ! xx


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloo , my lovelies <3 How are you all doing ? 
> 
> I know I have been absent for quite some time, but life is chaotic and the past week has definitely been a mess and a lot has happened. 
> 
> I didn't have much time to write either, but I have managed to write a short chapter for you guys, and I am hoping to write a longer chapter for the next chapter <3 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter, though - it is a bit of a mess as well haha :) 
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes! xx
> 
>  
> 
> _I do not own any of the characters mentioned. ___

Harry wandered slowly through the corridors of Hogwarts, as he made his way to Dumbledore's office - who had arrived this morning and had owled Harry, requesting him to stop by his office during the day. 

While he was walking, Harry let his thoughts drift to Severus - and, yes, in his mind he allowed himself to call his Professor Severus, so long as he doesn't slip up while talking to or about the man - and the conversation they'd had not even a day before. 

Harry was glad that they had talked about what happened and, although he was disappointed, he got where Severus was coming from. And, he had to admit, that he had never thought about it as rationally as Severus had. He had never once let his mind wander to the consequences of him and Severus - currently - getting involved with each other, not for him nor for Severus. 

Quite honestly, he was surprised that Severus didn't really regret the kiss - or at least, he didn't regret that it happened, just the way and situation in which it happened. Harry had made himself believe - after Severus had pulled away - that Severus had quite obviously not reciprocated whatever Harry had been feeling, that Harry had been reading all the signs wrong (which for Harry, really, wouldn't have been something new). 

His thoughts got cut short, as he arrived at Dumbledore's office. The staircase started moving, as Harry whispered the password and he quickly moved to stand on one of the steps.

As the staircase came to a stop, Harry walked up to the grand doors of Dumbledore's office. Before he could knock, or announce his arrival, the doors opened and Harry walked in to see Dumbledore standing at the far end of his office - back turned towards Harry. 

A slight glance towards the left made Harry acknowledge Severus - Professor Snape, in this case, Harry reminded himself - sitting on a chair next to Dumbledore's desk. Harry frowned slightly in confusion. 

Harry snapped his gaze back to Dumbledore, when said man cleared his throat and turned around to meet Harry's eyes twinkling - although, more dull - eyes. 

''Harry,'' Dumbledore spoke, ''how are you doing, my boy?''

Harry smiled slightly, nodding, ''I am fine, sir, thank you.''

''Good, good,'' Dumbledore said, and he waved his hand, ''take a seat, Harry.''

Harry walked up to Dumbledore's desk, glancing at Severus with a smile and a nod, who was sitting morosely in the chair, before taking a seat at the chair in front of the desk. Harry watched as Dumbledore took a seat in his own chair, eyes set on Harry and Severus, and Harry fidgeted a bit underneath the gaze. 

Dumbledore cleared his throat, before he settled his gaze on Harry. Harry had to keep himself from fidgeting even more. Even after years of knowing the man, Harry got nervous when being called to meet him. His mind would race with ideas of what he might hear this time - what new information would get thrown at him. 

''As you know, Harry, I have been away for some time during this summer break,'' Dumbledore began, and Harry nodded his head slowly, uncertain of where this was going, but his curiosity piqued, ''After the events during your second year, Harry, I have been doing some digging into Riddle's past and I found something very curious.''

Harry frowned, _his second year?_ Well, at least his instincts had not been wrong, it seemed, about new information being thrown at him. 

''The diary you had, Harry, it contained some rare form of very dark magic, something I had never encountered before, and it had startled me, but at the same time it had interested me. So, I did some researching into it, into what it might have been or what it might have contained.''

Dumbledore paused and Harry had to keep himself from urging the man to keep talking. 

''What I found, was certainly some kind of dark magic that is very rare to encounter, something that barely anyone has encountered before. Riddle's diary was made into a Horcrux, Harry.''

_A Horcrux?_ Harry thought. 

''What exactly is a Horcrux, sir?'' Harry asked softly. 

Dumbledore leaned back in his chair, ''A Horcrux, Harry, is usually an object in which a dark wizard or witch, in this case Voldemort, has hidden a piece of his soul, for the mere purpose of achieving immortality. In this way, would the maker of these Horcruxes ever pass away, in whatever way, they would still in some way live on in a non-corporeal form. It really is very dark magic, and it has rarely been heard of in the Wizarding World, as it had mostly been kept secret.''

Harry let all the information sink in for a few moments, before his thoughts caught up with him, and he snapped his eyes up to look at Dumbledore with a calculating look.

''So,'' Harry said, drawing the word out slightly, as he figured out how exactly to word his next sentence, ''the diary, was that the only Horcrux Voldemort had made, or are there more, sir?''’

Dumbledore sighed, ''Your thoughts are on the right track, Harry. The diary was indeed not the only Horcrux Voldemort had created. I suspect that Voldemort created six Horcruxes in total, of which four have already been destroyed at the moment.''

Dumbledore leaned forward on the table towards Harry, ''Firstly, the diary that you, unwittingly, destroyed in your second year, using a basilisk fang, which contains basilisk venom. Two other Horcruxes, Helga Hufflepuff's Cup and Rowena Ravenclaw's Diadem that I found out about coincidentally, and had traced the whereabouts from, and have been able to destroy them successfully. Lastly, I have been able to destroy Marvolo Gaunt's ring as well, which is the fourth of the destroyed Horcruxes.''

Harry nodded, his head swimming from all the information. Still, Harry was slightly confused. 

''Why are you telling me all this now, sir?''

Dumbledore's fingers of his left hand tapped a beat against the wood of his desk, before he sighed. Harry watched as Dumbledore reached for his left sleeve, pulling it up from where it covered his left hand, revealing a blackened hand, and Harry gasped - hands twitching to reach out in concern. 

''While retrieving Marvolo Gaunt's ring with the purpose of destroying it, I made the grave mistake of putting the ring on my finger. The ring contained a curse, and if it wasn't for Professor Snape acting as quickly as he did, when I came back with the ring, it would have spread out much quicker and I probably would not be sitting here.''

Harry inhaled sharply, before exhaling slowly. Knowing about what had almost happened to Dumbledore, his mentor, knowing what could have happened - Harry shuddered at the thought.

Harry glanced at Severus - Professor Snape - his eyes locking with black, worried, ones. Harry's own eyes traced across the frowns and concern etched across the other man's - usually blank - face, and his heart ached. He tried to smile slightly - in gratefulness, or reassurance, or both, Harry didn't know - but, the small twitch of lips he got in return, made it worth it, putting his heart slightly at ease as well. 

If he already felt the way he felt, only while knowing what had almost happened, what must Severus be feeling actually having seen what had almost happened, when Dumbledore had arrived back at Hogwarts with the ring?

Harry turned his head back towards Dumbledore and watched as the man had paused in his speech to lower his sleeve back over his hand again, an almost unnoticeable wince going through the man's body at the feeling of the sleeve touching the blackened skin. 

Dumbledore looked up from his hand, ''There are still two Horcruxes out there, Harry, and I need you to help me, and Professor Snape, who will be helping, look for them and help us destroy them. I know I am asking a lot of you, my boy, but I do not have the strength to destroy them myself, nor does Professor Snape have the accessibility - as trusted by Voldemort - to do so.''

Harry cleared his throat, his eyes locking on Severus' form once again - who was looking at the desk, gaze boring into the wood - before he looked back at Dumbledore's hopeful look. After a few moments, Harry nodded, determinedly.

''Of course, sir, anything, sir,'' Harry spoke. 

Dumbledore nodded, the usual twinkle slowly reaching his eyes again as he looked at Harry, proudly and Harry let a small smile grow on his face.

''Very well, my boy. Then, we shall start looking for them.''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for reading ! I am so sorry it was this short, but I will try my very best to update a longer chapter next time <3 
> 
> I hope it was alright and that you enjoyed it :) <3
> 
> Please let me know what you guys thought about it ! 
> 
> Have a nice day xx


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my loves <3 
> 
> First of all, I am extremely sorry it took me so long to update this story, but life has been chaotic with uni life and also with family. 
> 
> But, here is another chapter , I do hope you guys enjoy it - it is a bit of a filler chapter, but all the same I hope you guys like it ! :) 
> 
> (Warnings: I don't think there are any needed, maybe vague mention of previous abuse ?   
> And please let me know if I missed any warnings :) )
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes! xx
> 
>  
> 
> _I do not own any characters mentioned in this story._

Harry pushed through the crowd of people, finding his way through the station way easier than he had the first few years that he had attended Hogwarts. 

Dumbledore had kept insisting on Harry taking the train to Hogwarts this year, along with his friends and other classmates. Hagrid, just as way back in First Year, had dropped Harry off on the station a few minutes ago, leaving him - with a quick hug - to find his way to Platform 9 ¾. 

As Harry hurriedly walked up onto platform 10, his eye fell on a few redheads, who were nearing the wall through which they had to go, and Harry sped up his pace, pushing his cart - on which Hedwig and his luggage were perched - along in front of him. 

Harry quietly neared his best friend, sneaking up behind him, before tapping him on the shoulder - resulting in the redhead squeaking loudly before he swiftly turned around, his startled expression quickly morphing into a huge smile. 

''Harry!'' Ron exclaimed, his arms opening up to engulf Harry into a hug, and Harry chuckled, as he hugged his friend back. 

''Hi Ron,'' Harry said, before he pulled back from the hug to greet Molly, who quickly engulfed him into a warm hug as well, squeezing Harry tightly and Harry smiled, leaning into the hug. Molly had always taken care of him, still does, and had always been as much of a mother to him as she had to her own children. 

''Hello, dear,'' Molly's voice called into his ear, and she pulled back to look at him, hands squeezing his arms lightly, ''how are you doing?''

''I'm good, Mrs. Weasley,'' Harry said with a small smile, and blushed when Molly tsked at him. 

''How many times have I told you, Harry, we have known you for - what? - six years now, it's about time you call me Molly, yeah?'' Harry sheepishly smiled at her, although she was Molly in his head, he would never get used to actually _calling_ her Molly, ''Never mind about that now, dear, you guys have a train to catch, hurry, boys, and get your carts, quickly,'' Molly urged them on. 

Harry looked around at the others, waving with a small smile, and turned back to grab his cart, hearing them run through the wall. He turned back towards the wall - only Ron and his parents left - and he looked at Ron, who looked back at him. 

''Ready?'' he asked Ron, smiling. Ron nodded, and Harry faced the wall again, watching from the corner of his eye, as Ron did the same. 

Harry exhaled, feeling the thrill he always felt whenever he was standing in front of this wall, and walked a few steps, before sprinting into the wall. Harry felt the familiar pull, and opened his eyes as his feet landed back on the floor - not even knowing when he had closed them - to see the train, children waving to their parents from inside the train, and Harry's heart warmed. 

A small thud made him turn his head to see Ron standing next to him, his parents appearing right behind him, all three walking towards the train and Harry followed. 

They walked past several compartments, before finally finding an empty one, and they quickly loaded their luggage in there. Ron hugged his parents, letting them know he'll owl them, once they'd arrived at Hogwarts and had settled in for the year.

Molly turned towards Harry, face softening and she pulled him into another quick hug. She pulled back, her hands on his cheeks and he smiled softly at her. 

''I am so proud of you, Harry. I have heard what's happened during the summer - Ron doesn't know, that is your story to tell, if you want him to know, love. Never forget that you have a family here, dear,'' Molly said softly, eyes shining, and Harry sniffled softly, nodding his head with a smile as a tear slid down his cheek, and Molly smiled at him. 

Her thumb wiped away the stray tear, and she patted him on his cheek, clearing her throat. 

''Well, off you go, dear,'' she said, stepping back and Harry turned to step onto the train, before he changed his mind, turning back to walk swiftly over to Molly to engulf her into a tight hug again. 

''Thank you,'' he whispered into her ear, ''thank you.''

Molly squeezed her arms around his waist, and chuckled wetly, before she pulled back and urged him into the compartment. 

''We'll be here, Harry,'' she said softly, the sentence holding more promise than it seemed to do on the surface, and Harry nodded, before he stepped onto the train, closing the compartment door behind him. 

''Mate, are you okay?'' Ron asked. 

Harry looked at him, and quickly glanced outside as the train started to move, seeing Molly and Arthur waving at them, and he looked back at Ron with a smile, a warm feeling passing through his body. 

''Yeah,'' he answered, ''yeah, I am okay.'' And for once, Harry really meant it when he had said it. 

Harry turned his gaze back to the window, watching as Molly, Arthur and the other parents all faded away as the train sped up. 

-

Ron and Harry had silently sat in the compartment for a few minutes, both off in their own thoughts, before Ron had remembered something that had happened over the summer and had started rambling, and Harry had happily indulged in the conversation - happy to see his best friend again. 

Several moments later, the door to the compartment opened, and Ron stopped mid sentence - both him and Harry looking to see whoever had interrupted them, only to see Hermione standing there with a smile on her face. 

''Hello, boys,'' she said, walking in to take a seat next to Ron. 

Harry smiled at her, ''Hi 'Mione.''

Ron threw a quick hi to her, before launching back into his story and Harry looked at Hermione, rolling his eyes almost at the same time as Hermione did and chuckled, before looking back at Ron, who was finishing his story up and at the same time fishing a sandwich from his bag. Harry nodded, humming in agreement to whatever Ron had told just told them. Ron smiled widely, popping the sandwich into his mouth and chewing happily. Harry turned his head to Hermione, his head cocking as he watched Hermione smile fondly - just for a moment - at Ron, before she locked eyes with Harry, and blushed, quickly opening her mouth to distract him. 

''How was your summer, Harry?'' Hermione asked him, and Harry bit his lip. 

''Well,'' Harry began, and Hermione's expression morphed into one of concern, Ron frowning at him, and he quickly added - ''it's not like _bad_ …'' he trailed off.

Hermione quirked an eyebrow at him, and Harry sighed. 

''I mean, it's really not that bad, guys,'' he said, pausing for a moment to collect his thoughts, thinking over how to word everything that has happened the past few weeks, before deciding to say, ''I spent my summer mostly at Hogwarts.''

Ron choked on his sandwich, Hermione patting him on his back as she eyed Harry. ''Why?'' she finally asked softly, at the same moment Ron exclaimed a _What?! Why?_

_And, this is where it gets fun_ , Harry thought, throat bobbing as he swallowed. 

Harry had never actually told his friends about what had been going on at the Dursleys, about the way they had acted to them, the things they had said to him. Of course, they had known that they weren't a happily ever after - family, they _had_ seen the way the Dursleys had acted back when they still picked him up at the station at the beginning of summers and had cautiously asked Harry if they had always acted that way with him, but neither Ron nor Hermione hadn't known the details of his life at the Dursleys. 

''Dumbledore picked me up from the Dursleys, he didn't want me to stay with them anymore, because - uhm - because they weren't always as nice to me, neither in their behaviour nor actions,'' Harry explained to them, trying to keep it vague - not feeling in the mood to go into details too much - but still trying to explain it clear enough for at least Hermione to get it, and looking at her expression, Hermione had indeed understood. 

Hermione furrowed her brows, ''You don't mean they -'' Hermione cut herself off with a vague motion of her hand, and she gasped as Harry's expression turned sheepish, '' _Please_ tell me they didn't.''

Harry swallowed and nodded, indicating that indeed they did, ''I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys before, I - I didn't know how to,'' Harry said, biting his lip. 

Hermione stood up to sit next to Harry, pulling him into a hug. ''Oh, Harry, please don't be, Harry, I get it - we are sorry we never noticed, and that we didn't do anything,'' she said, kicking Ron - who quickly nodded in agreement and Harry pulled away, chuckling softly. 

He smiled at her, ''Don't worry, 'Mione, it's not your fault.'' 

''How did Dumbledore know about it?'' Ron asked, and Harry turned his gaze away from his friends, choosing to look out of the window, watching the scenery pass by, and he cleared his throat. 

''I am not really sure,'' Harry said, ''You guys know how Dumbledore seems to know everything, so maybe he just _suspected_ , or I might have mentioned it, I am not sure to be honest,'' Harry chuckled nervously, feeling a tad bit bad for lying to his friends, but he knew the reaction he would get if he would tell them that he had told Severus - or, Snape to them (and in theory to him, but whatever), who in turn had told Dumbledore. 

And maybe, secretly and selfishly, he wanted to keep that side of Severus - the one he had seen those two nights he had spent at Severus's, the one that had urged Severus to tell Dumbledore about Harry's situation, the one Harry had seen over the summer - to himself, along with the tentative friendship they had built. 

His mind drifted off to Severus, staying there, and his heart skipped giddily at the thought of seeing the man again. 

He turned his head back to his friends - realizing he had drifted off in thought - only to see Ron and Hermione eyeing him up, and he shook his head, ''The important thing is that I am gone from that house, right?'' he said with a smile, and Hermione nodded slowly. 

''Anyway,'' he said quickly, ''How was your summer?'' he asked Hermione, teasingly adding ''Any new book recommendations for us, which we will probably never read anyway?''

Hermione shoved Harry with a chuckle and a roll of her eyes, before she launched into a story about a new book she'd - indeed - read over summer. 

Harry smiled, thinking back to everything that has happened over the past few weeks, while he listened to Hermione and Ron argue - once more. 

Yeah, life was pretty okay, Harry thought. 

(Little did Harry know that this year had some surprises in store for him).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for reading ! I hope you guys enjoyed it ! :) xx
> 
> Please let me know what you thought about it <3 
> 
>  
> 
> I am hoping to have the next chapter up some time next week :) xx


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii lovesss <3 
> 
> I am finally back with a new chapter ! 
> 
> First of all, I want to wish you guys a late happy new year! I hope you all enjoyed the holidays and had a good time :) Secondly, I want to apologize for the fact that I haven't updated in 3 weeks. A lot has been happening, and then holiday times came and I spent a lot of time with family, so I really hadn't had the time to update even if I wanted to really badly. 
> 
> Buuut, here is the new chapter, and I do hope it is an alright chapter ! <3 it is from Sev's point of view ;) 
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes ! 
> 
>  
> 
> _Warning: A small kind of self-harming, I think I would call it, it's obvious if you squint_
> 
>  
> 
> _I do not own any of the characters mentioned in the story._

Severus leaned his hands on his working table and gazed blankly into the cauldron in front of him, in which the Thick Golden Potion was brewing. 

His mind felt like it would burst with the amount of thoughts that were running through it, but at the same time Severus felt as if he was numb and empty inside - as if the only thing that he was hearing, was the sound of his blood rushing through his veins. 

While staring at the bubbles emerging into the gold liquid of the Potion, Severus allowed his thoughts to travel back to the day Dumbledore had arrived back into Hogwarts - when Poppy had come to knock persistently onto Severus' door, a panic stricken look on her face. 

_A loud knocking on his door startled Severus out of his morning reading, and he groaned softly at the interruption, but got up from his chair all the same to make his way over to the door. The knocking grew louder, more insistent, and Severus sighed. He picked up his pace and opened the door with a scowl on his face, which quickly turned into a look of concern as he took in Poppy's panicked face._

_''Poppy, what happened?''_

_''Severus, oh - Severus, it's Albus,'' Poppy brought out, her voice trembling, ''his hand, Severus, it's a curse.''_

_Severus felt his stomach drop, and he inconspicuously reached out a hand to grab onto the doorframe, steadying himself slightly. What happened to Albus? Albus never gets hurt, if Poppy is like this then it must be serious, but Albus is always careful, Albus is -_

_Severus cut his own thoughts off with a shake of his head, it would do no good to panic about it. He pulled himself together, standing straight, as he finally brought out, ''Where is he?''_

_''His office,'' Poppy answered, and Severus quickly bolted past her, running up the stairs out of the Dungeon as he made his way to Albus' office. In the back of his mind he registered Poppy running after him, calling out to him to wait for her, but he kept running - his heart raced in his chest with worry._

_Even if he knows exactly what kind of position Albus had placed him in, even if he knows exactly how Albus had gotten him on his side - Albus had given him more in life, had offered him more chances in life, than any other person had; Albus had become a mentor to him, had become his lifeline, in all senses of the word._

_Severus whispered the password to Albus' office, and hurriedly made his way up the stairs, panting slightly as he pushed the doors to the office open, only to see Albus calmly sitting behind his desk, writing away on a parchment._

_Upon Severus' arrival, Albus neatly put away the quill, and looked up at Severus._

_''Severus, my boy,'' Albus began, shocking Severus out of his frozen state, and Severus hurried toward the desk to stand next to Albus, ''I fear that I have made a grave mistake, my boy.''_

_Albus lifted his hand, the sleeve rolling up at the movement to reveal a blackened hand and Severus just managed to conceal his gasp at the sight. Severus stood, staring, only getting spurred into action by Poppy running into the office - panting. Severus stepped forward, and barely acknowledged Albus dismissing Poppy as well as the fading footsteps of Poppy walking out of the office._

_Severus gently, but hastily, cradled Albus' arm in one hand and picked up his wand in the other. He performed some spells, all the while listening to Albus, as he told Severus about Marvolo's Ring, his own mistaken belief about the ring, his mistake of putting the ring on his hand only to activate the curse that the Dark Lord had placed on the ring - which Severus could detect and watch as it seemed to slowly spread from Albus' arm, making its way throughout the rest Albus' body._

_Severus clenched his hand around his wand, waving it around in one last motion, before letting go of Albus' arm as he stepped - staggered - back from the desk. He lifted his eyes to lock with Albus, and saw Albus' expression change into one of sad realization._

_''How long, my boy?'' Albus asked him. Severus could only shake his head slightly, refusing to answer. Because if he answered, it would be real, and this is not real - this whole situation was not real. In just a few moments, Severus would be waking up in his own rooms, and he would realize it was just a dream - and it was not real._

_And, Severus hated his own childishness, hated how vulnerable and fragile he was allowing himself to be._

_''How long, Severus?''_

_The spell in his own mind got broken by the sound of Albus' gentle voice, and instead of the previous shock, sadness and worry, Severus felt anger well up inside him._

_''Why did you do it?'' Severus said harshly, ''What could have been so important about a ring, Albus, that you just had to slip it on? How could you not have realized, or felt, that it had contained a curse? Why did you have to put on the ring so badly, Albus?'' Severus spitted out, his breathing coming out harshly._

_Albus only stared at him, his face morphing into a sympathetic, sad expression and Severus felt his anger increasing - the man had no right to look at him like that._

_But then Albus spoke, ''Severus, please, just tell me. How long?'', and Severus felt himself give in to answer._

_He breathed out softly, pausing, shoulders dropping, as he hoarsely answered Albus._

_''I am not sure, Albus, probably not longer than a year. I managed to halt it for the time being, but it will continue to spread, Albus - although more slowly.''_

_Severus watched as Albus looked down at his hand, nodded, and - after checking quickly if Poppy had left the room - looked back at Severus determinedly._

_''Then we have a lot to discuss, my boy. Please sit down.''_

The loud, and angry, bubbling and hissing from inside the cauldron pulled Severus from the memory, and Severus hastily turned the heat on low and picked up a rod to stir the Potion a few times clockwise, before he took the rod out, and leaned back again to let the Potion simmer on low heat for a few minutes. 

As he waited, Severus let his mind run over the new information that he had gotten from Albus. 

Severus had known previously already that the Dark Lord had managed to make a Horcrux. He had actually suspected it back when the rumours had gone around about the Dark Lord not having died at all, and his suspicions had only been increased when the Dark Lord had indeed returned in that blasted graveyard during the Triwizard Tournament. 

Albus had then confirmed Severus' suspicions a few months back, informing him that the older wizard had managed to destroy one of the Horcruxes - after he had incidentally found out about the origin as well as whereabouts of the Horcrux. 

Severus hadn't known, though - at the time - that there were _several_ Horcruxes, of which some were still out there. Most of the Horcruxes had been destroyed by Albus himself already, luckily, and one of them having been destroyed by Harry himself in the boy's second year. 

_Harry_ , Severus thought, and for a moment he let the name to echo through his mind for a few moments. 

The boy had - rightfully - looked distraught as he had caught sight of Albus' hand, and had looked only more distraught after learning the information that Severus had already gotten a heads-up on; the fact that Horcruxes existed, the fact that the Dark Lord had managed to make several, and the fact that there were two more Horcruxes out there to be destroyed, which the boy would have to help look for as well as help destroy. 

Severus clenched his hand around the wood of his work table, as his mind reminded him of the fact that he'll have to be the one to tell Harry - Potter - that Albus had not given the boy the complete story. 

Severus would be the one to tell the boy that there weren't just six Horcruxes, but seven. That Harry Potter was the last Horcrux that the Dark Lord had unwittingly made, the seventh Horcrux. That the Dark Lord had, most probably accidentally, transferred part of his soul to Harry, as he had tried to kill the boy when he'd been an infant. Severus would be the one to tell Harry that the boy would have to walk to his own potential death - unknowing of the fact if he'll come back from it alive this time. 

Severus' chest tightened at the thoughts, at the images that they conjured up in his mind, and Severus closed his eyes tightly, as if to remove the images and thoughts from his own mind. 

Severus gripped the wood even harder in his hands as the action of closing his eyes did not succeed in its intention, and Severus revelled in the burn that was brought in his palms. The tightening in his chest subsided only slightly, as he refocused his attention to the burns in his palms. 

Only several moments later did Severus notice that his breath was coming out in short, harsh pants, and that he was slightly swaying on his feet.

Severus quickly threw a Stasis charm on the still simmering Potion, and allowed himself to drop into the wooden chair that stood in the corner. He leaned his hand into his head, bending over slightly in order to try and make the dizziness in his mind fade. 

After a few minutes, Severus sat back up in the chair, and leaned his head back with closed eyes. He brought his attention to getting his breathing back to a slow and steady pace, and Severus allowed himself a bit of time to briefly wonder why he was letting himself get so - emotionally - affected by Potter ( _Harry_ , his mind supplied to him, but he disregarded it), before he stood up again, shaking his head empty from thoughts. 

They had a job to do, he reminded himself. And a damn important on at that, Severus thought, as stalked back over to his working table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, my loves ! <3 I hope the chapter was alright, and I hoped you enjoyed it ! 
> 
> Please let me know what you thought about it ! xx


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloo my loves <3 How are you all doing ? 
> 
> I am so so sorry that I haven't been able to upload earlier, uni has been kicking my ass to be honest, but now I had a bit of time to write and I managed to write a short chapter :) 
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes ! I hope you guys enjoy it , and sorry it is on the short side. 
> 
> _I do not own any of the characters mentioned._

Harry knocked on the open door of the Potions classroom, peeking his head inside when there was no answer. 

''Professor Snape?'' Harry called out, foregoing the use of the man's given name and using his professional title instead. Although, Harry had gotten used to using the Professor's first name in his head - and, very occasionally, whenever they were in private - he tried to call the man by his professional title wherever there was a chance of people interrupting them.

Shuffling from the back caught his attention, and Harry snapped his gaze to the door in the back of the classroom to see Severus emerging from it with a few vials in his hands. The man looked up at Harry, the corners of his mouth lifting just slightly, and Harry smiled as his chest filled slightly with warmth. 

''Potter, glad to see you received my note. Come in.''

Harry walked inside, taking a seat at his usual spot in the classroom at the front of his room - which is _definitely_ not his usual spot, because of this still growing friendship he had going on with Severus. Harry's gaze followed said man around the room as he put away the vials he had had in his hands, before Severus settled down in his own chair behind his desk, looking up at Harry. 

''Potter,'' Severus began with a nod of his head. 

''Sir,'' Harry said with a slightly raised eyebrow at the formality. 

''You must be wondering why I have called you in.'' Harry nodded at Severus, and the man continued speaking, ''You know that we are looking for the Horcruxes without the Dark Lord's knowing of us helping Albus. Regarding this, Albus has assigned me - once again - to teach you the use of Occlumency.''

Harry's eyes widened as he was reminded of what had happened the last time Severus and he had tried to get him to learn Occlumency, and Harry already felt every being of himself protesting against the mere idea of Severus teaching Harry again. 

''Sev- Professor Snape,'' Harry started, ''I don't think that is a good idea.''

''And why would that be, Potter?'' Severus asked slowly, his gaze piercing as he watched Harry.

Harry threw a disbelieving look at the Professor - Severus knew _very well_ why. Severus had been the one to throw Harry out of his classroom - rightfully, Harry had to reluctantly admit, he hated being wrong and he would be damned before he would admit to it. Though Severus only raised his eyebrow in question, waiting for Harry to answer, and Harry really hated Severus for looking at him with those piercing, dark eyes. 

''I -,'' Harry stuttered, before falling silent again.

''You?'' Severus prompted after a few moments.

Harry bit his lip, taking a deep breath. Harry's gaze drifting down to the desk his hands were resting on, where he had been wringing them together.

Harry knows fully well that he had acted wrongfully last year, that he had been so wrong - and he was a Gryffindor, right? So, he could take the blame, right? 

He could tell Severus that he had broken the man's trust last time - at least what little trust Severus had given Harry at the time. He could tell Severus that Harry hadn't meant to, but he hadn't been able to keep himself from looking into that Pensieve. Tell Severus that he was sorry, that he really hadn't meant to see what he had seen. He could say that he didn't think it was a good idea for Severus to teach him again, because Harry was scared he would do something - even if it would be subconsciously - for Harry to break Severus' trust again, and that if that would happen that Harry would hate himself for it - hate himself for hurting Severus. 

He could do that, right?

In the end, though, Harry opened his mouth and the only thing that came out, was an awkward chuckle, and, ''I just - I am really bad at it, Occlumency, I mean. You know how frustrated I got last time, and not to mention how frustrated you got with teaching me.'' 

_Fuck_ , Harry thought, _shit_. Mentally, Harry face-palmed himself _hard_ , wishing that he had physically done it in the hope that it might have actually slapped some sense into him instead. 

This had been the moment to apologize to Severus for what had happened, for what Harry had done. Instead, Harry had chickened out, something Harry rarely did. 

Severus was looking at him, black eyes assessing him calculatingly. The man stayed quiet for a bit, seemingly waiting, giving Harry a chance to say more, but Harry still couldn't build up the courage to open his damn mouth and just _tell_ Severus. 

Finally, Severus sighed and broke their gaze, and Harry swallowed painfully - even that didn't manage to snap Harry out of his cowardness behaviour.

_Some Gryffindor_ , Harry thought disgustingly, disappointedly, as he watched Severus with sad eyes. 

''Right,'' Severus said, ''right.''

Severus straightened up, before looking at Harry again, ''We both know what happened last time, Potter - and trust me, I am _not_ thrilled about this establishment either,'' Harry closed his eyes for a second, taking in a breath as if he had been shot, before he opened them again. He had deserved that, that was his own damn fault, ''but it is a necessity,'' Severus continued speaking. 

''It is essential for you to know how to use Occlumency, Potter. It was essential last time as well, but it is even more so now. We don't want the Dark Lord finding out about you, not to mention I, knowing about the Horcruxes - let alone him finding out about us also helping Albus to find them. It will destroy everything, Potter. We cannot risk it. Therefore, these lessons are an important part of us destroying the Dark Lord. Do you understand, Potter?''

Severus stared at him, eyes darker than usual, and Harry felt his heart clench, nodding to tell Severus he understood, but otherwise staying quiet. 

Severus nodded a last time, ''Good, then we will meet every friday after dinner in here for the lessons.''

Harry nodded once more to show that he agreed. Harry sat, silently, at the desk as he watched Severus get out some parchments and a quill. He watched as the man started writing, before the quill paused - hovering over the parchment - and dark eyes looked back up at him, creating a rush inside of Harry's chest as their eyes met. 

Severus raised an eyebrow at him, before the man raised his free hand in a dismissive wave, ''That was all, Potter. You can go now.''

The rush that had started inside Harry's chest settled down as fast as it had fired up, and Harry bit the inside of his cheek. Damn him and his cowardness of speaking the truth when it mattered. 

Instead, Harry cleared his throat, and said, ''Right, sir, sorry.''

Harry stood up, walking out the door, before pausing just a second to look back over his shoulder at the Professor. 

Maybe next time they meet for the lessons, he will be able to tell Severus everything. Maybe next time he won't chicken out as easily as he had done this time. Maybe. 

Harry sighed, before he turned and started his walk back to the Gryffindor tower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, loves! I hope you liked it and that it was okay :) Please let me know what you thought about it ! <3 
> 
> I will try to update as soon as possible and also with a longer chapter <3


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii loves, I hope you're all doing well :) 
> 
> I just want to apologise for being absent the past few weeks, a lot of shit has been going down again with my dad and uni but I am kind of back. The updates will still be kind of slow, but I _am_ back to writing again :) 
> 
> Soo, I hope that you guys enjoy this chapter (it was a bit rushed, so sorry for any mistakes etc.) ! xx
> 
>  
> 
> _I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story._

Harry tried to stop Snape, but the man was too quick - already casting the ‘Legilimens’ and invading Harry’s mind without a struggle. 

Memories flashed in front of Harry’s eyes, and he tried to fight it off, knowing Snape could see just as much as he, himself, was seeing, but to no avail - the memories kept flashing and Harry could do nothing but watch as well.

_Memories from him following Malfoy around the past few weeks - knowing something suspicious is going on with him - flashed across the front of his mind. Harry telling his friends that he is sure Malfoy took the Dark Mark, sure that Malfoy was behind the attempted murder on Headmaster Dumbledore not even a few days back, mentioning the attempted murder to Snape who shot his theories down. The memories changed into ones from last summer - spent at Hogwarts - with Snape, Harry feeling safe and happy for the first time in months, maybe years, Harry’s feelings changing from hatred to respect to something akin to deep caring towards Snape. Memories from the occlumency lessons last year - Harry feeling guilty, Harry building up the courage to talk to Snape before chickening out, Harry trying to confess to Snape about breaking his trust a few weeks ago, Harry mad at himself for not going through with it, Harry feeling scared to break the man's trust again -_

''Stop! Stop, enough,'' Harry screamed, and he dropped himself into his chair, panting. His hands went up to grab his head, fingers massaging his temples with a small groan. 

The one thing he didn’t want Snape to _see_ , wanted to tell Snape himself - but still hadn’t had the courage to tell him. Harry had tried, of course, he had tried the first day that Snape had suggested starting his Occlumency lessons again, but Harry had always chickened out at the last moment - not wanting Snape to see and hear how scared he actually was about breaking the man’s trust again, not wanting Snape to know how much he actually had come to care about him in the past few weeks. 

''You need to close your mind, Potter,'' Snape's voice rung out in the small room, snapping him out of his thoughts. Harry hoped Snape wouldn’t bring up what he had seen, and felt, in Harry’s memories. 

''I know, I'm _trying_ ,'' Harry responded, his voice undeniably desperate for Snape to believe him, ''I just can't,'' Harry finished meekly. 

During the past few weeks, Harry had been meeting with Snape to practice his Occlumency skills and his skills have yet to be improved. Harry has been trying with all his might, more than he had done during the lessons in his Fifth Year, but he can’t seem to focus on closing his mind to Snape’s legilimency. Harry runs his hands down his face, bending over slightly to rest his elbows on his knees. 

He hears Snape sigh, footsteps approaching, and Harry pulls his hands away from his face to see Snape sit down on a chair he pulled out in front of Harry. Harry looks back down at his hands, waiting for Snape to talk and tell him that he is being his usual cowardly and useless self, as he had been telling Harry during the past few lessons, except now Snape had an actual reason to say those things - but Snape doesn’t talk, he stays quiet and Harry frowns, once more looking up at Snape. 

Snape was staring at him, calculatingly and deep in thought. Harry waited, fidgeting in the uncomfortable silence. Finally, Snape took a breath. 

''You’re not trying,'' Snape started, and Harry startled - not having expected Snape to say _that_ \- but then opened his mouth to protest, because _he was_. He was doing the best that he could but Snape just didn’t, couldn’t, see it. But before he could speak, Snape held up his hand, cutting any words that might have come out of Harry’s mouth off. ''I mean, you’re not trying to turn away from your emotions in order to close off your mind. You need to empty your mind from them.''

Harry drew in his eyebrows in confusion, and Snape continued. 

''You need to try and take control over your emotions, instead of letting your emotions take control of you. If your emotions take control of you, it is easier for your opponent to invade your mind, invade your memories, because you’re not focused - you don’t have the control of your mind, your emotions do,'' Snape explained softly. 

Harry’s eyes widened, both from surprise and realization. Snape was, for once, actually explaining something to him. Then, Harry thought the words over and thought back as the past few lessons replayed in his mind. Hesitatingly, Harry agreed with the fact that he does seem to let his emotions rule and control him. He never tried to take control of his emotions, he always just followed suit with whatever he was feeling. 

Harry furrowed his brows, nodding slightly as he got out of the chair he was sitting on. Snape followed suit with a raised eyebrow.

''Can we try again?'' Harry asked. Snape only looked at him, ''Please?'' he added. 

Snape nodded reluctantly, stepping back and straightening his back. Snape raised his wand, Harry mimicking the position. Harry watched as Snape opened his mouth, and took a deep breath; he closed his eyes, focusing on his mind, keeping it empty - Snape’s words on what to do echoing in his mind to remind him. 

''Legilimens,'' Snape whispered, and Harry snapped his eyes open with newfound determination. Mentally, he quickly shielded his mind, protecting his memories, and felt the brush of Snape’s legilimency against the front of his shield. Harry inhaled sharply, panicking just slightly, but he kept his focus on his shield and keeping his mind empty. 

Harry raised his wand after a few moments, whispering a quick ''Expelliarmus'', and caught Snape’s wand in his hand with fluid movements as it went flying through the air. The press of Snape’s legilimency against his mental shield fell away, and Harry looked up from where Snape’s wand was lying in his hand. His wide eyes met an equally startled Snape, and Harry let out a surprised, bubbly laugh. 

''Did I just -,'' Harry started, cutting himself off with another breathless laugh as he looked at Snape, who was slowly but surely pulling himself together again. Snape straightened up, walking over towards where Harry was standing. The man stopped in front of him, and held out his hand, silently asking for his wand back. 

Harry raised an eyebrow, holding the hand with Snape’s wand slightly out of Snape’s reach. 

''What,'' Harry started, ''you’ve not got anything to say, now?'' he asked Snape teasingly, a small and proud smile playing around his lips. 

Snape rolled his eyes, ''Potter, my wand,'' Snape deadpanned. 

Harry took a step back, shaking his head. ''Not until you tell me that I did it, that I did a good job and that I actually _tried_.'' 

''Well, I mean if you consider trying, having me tell you everything that you have to do instead of finding out yourself, then sure you tried,'' Snape said with a sarcastic tone. 

Harry snorted, Snape’s sarcasm and remark not even provoking him, nor ruining his mood, as it would have several months back. Instead Harry waited, bouncing on his heels and shooting an expectant smile Snape’s way. 

Snape sighed heavily, muttering something under his breath - something which sounded suspiciously like ''praise seeking brat'' - before the man opened his mouth reluctantly. 

''Fine, Potter, you did an _amazing_ job. You managed to close your mind off _once_ during the span of our several lessons the past few weeks, how grand of you. Was that good enough for you, Potter? May I now have my wand back?'' 

Harry snorted slightly at the response, which was heavily laced with sarcasm, and looked at Snape’s face, spotting the tiniest hint of a smile around the corners of the man’s mouth, and Harry’s own grew. 

''Why, _thank you_ , Professor Snape, that indeed was good enough for me,'' Harry answered cheekily with a small bow, a small chuckle escaping him as he watched Snape roll his eyes at him, wiggling the fingers of his outstretched hand to ask for his wand. 

Harry stepped forward and placed the wand into Snape’s requesting hand, their fingers brushing as they pulled their hands back towards themselves. A sharp inhale of breath echoed through the room and Harry looked up, both their gazes locking. They stared at each other, and Harry’s body swayed forward slightly, as if acting on it’s own account, but he froze as Snape cleared his throat and stepped back to walk towards his desk. 

Harry landed back on his feet, his hand coming up to rub awkwardly on the back of his neck with a small, almost silent and embarrassed chuckle. 

''Well, Potter,'' Snape started, when he was stood behind his desk, busying himself with the parchments stacked on top of it, ''lesson’s over. Same time, tomorrow.''

''Right,'' Harry answered, as he tuned back into the real world, outside of his thoughts where instead of turning away Snape had leaned into him, and turned away himself to walk towards the door, ''see you tomorrow, sir.'' 

Harry was almost out of the door when Snape called out to him, and Harry turned back to look at the man. 

''Good job today, Potter,'' Snape said softly, and Harry smiled widely at the praise, nodding his head in thanks, before turning away. 

''Oh, and Potter?'' Snape started again, making Harry stop in his tracks once more. 

''Sir?'' Harry asked, when Snape stayed silent. 

''Our feeling of trust is much stronger now than it was last year,'' Snape said with a hint of a smile, ''I’m sure it can handle some stuff.'' 

Harry’s eyes widened at the indirect mention of his memories, before the words sank in his mind. Harry cleared his throat and nodded once more at Snape, a smile growing on his face. He turned away and walked out of the classroom and making his way towards the Gryffindor tower, the small smile never fading.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, loves ! <3 I hope you enjoyed it, please let me know what you thought about ti ! :) xx


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii loves <3 How are you all doing ? 
> 
> I wrote a new chapter, I hope you guys like it :) 
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes ! 
> 
>  
> 
> _I do not own any of the characters or quotes mentioned in this story._

Harry traced the edge of the desk in Dumbledore’s office, surveying the office as he waited for the Headmaster to arrive. His eye fell on the Sorting Hat, and wondered for just a moment if it, after all the years, would still want to sort him into Slytherin. 

Approaching footsteps broke him from his musings and Harry turned to see Dumbledore making his way down towards the area where Harry was standing. Harry watched as Dumbledore silently made his way towards the Pensieve, his hand spinning the rack of vials next to it. Harry waited, quietly, knowing that Dumbledore would speak up when he felt was right. 

Finally, Dumbledore’s soft voice rung through the office. ‘’You do remember me telling you about the Horcruxes, right, Harry?’’ 

Harry blinked, and cleared his throat, ‘’Yes, Headmaster,’’ he said. 

Dumbledore nodded, and looked back for a second to beckon Harry closer towards him. When Harry stood next to him, waiting, his hand stopped the spinning of the rack and his fingers trailed across one of the vials, before he picked it from the shelf. The Headmaster turned to Harry, his eyes still on the vial in his hand. 

‘’This,’’ Dumbledore began, ‘’is one of the memories of Tom Riddle that I’ve collected.’’ With a vague wave of his hand in the direction of the rack, Dumbledore added, ‘’those are all the others.’’

Harry trailed his gaze across all the vials sitting in the rack, and his fingers twitched. He didn’t know if it was because he wanted to reach out to watch them, or to reach out to destroy them. 

He turned his attention back to Dumbledore, his eyes falling on the vial that the Headmaster was still holding. 

‘’What makes that one special?’’ he asked Dumbledore, his curiosity slightly piqued, as he watched the Headmaster empty the vial into the Pensieve. 

‘’Tom Riddle was a great Potions student. Naturally, he had been invited by Professor Slughorn to join his precious Slug Club,’’ Dumbledore said, his eyes never leaving the memory, swirling, in the Pensieve, ‘’this memory, Harry, is one where Riddle discusses the subject of Horcruxes with Slughorn.’’ 

Dumbledore paused, and Harry cleared his throat silently. 

‘’The memory has been tampered with,’’ Dumbledore finally said, his gaze coming to rest on Harry, ‘’my suspicion is that it had been Slughorn, himself.’’

Something clicked in the back of Harry’s mind, ‘’You invited Slughorn to teach Potions again, so that we could see if he would provide me with the real memory.’’ It wasn’t a question, more a statement, which got confirmed by Dumbledore giving a subtle nod. 

‘’You’ve seen yourself, Harry, that he has taken quite an interest in you. You are the only one who I’d trust to do it, and who I’d trust for him to give it to if he were to give it to someone.’’ 

Harry worried his lip between his teeth for a few moments, _how was he supposed to do that?_. Nonetheless, he nodded at the Headmaster and Dumbledore’s eyes twinkled at him. 

"I knew I could trust you to help me, my boy." 

Harry smiled thinly, and put another small step forward, leaning across the Pensieve. ‘’Could I see this memory to see what exactly is wrong with it?’’ he questioned. Dumbledore waved his hand in invitation. Harry leaned down, and before he knew it, he was pulled into one of Riddle's memories.

-

Harry, Hermione and Ron were huddled together at the end of the Gryffindor table as they ate their breakfast, simultaneously murmuring about Harry’s latest private lesson with Dumbledore. 

‘’So, Dumbledore knows about where the Locket might be?’’ Hermione asked Harry. 

‘’Dumbledore said he had an inkling as to where it might be, but he wasn’t sure and we shouldn’t get our hopes up, he said,’’ Harry said.

Hermione sighed, leaning back with a small groan, before she frowned and leaned forward towards Harry again with a questioning gaze. ‘’Has he explained why he needed you to get close to Slughorn?’’

Harry nodded and swallowed the food that he had been chewing, ‘’Apparently, Riddle talked to Slughorn about the creation of the Horcruxes. Dumbledore has memories regarding Riddle in his office, including the one where Riddle talks with Slughorn, but the memory has been tampered with. Dumbledore suspects that it had been Slughorn himself, tampering with the memory I mean.’’

‘’So,’’ Hermione cut him off, ‘’Dumbledore wants you to get the _real_ memory from Slughorn?’’ 

Harry nodded again, ‘’Provided Slughorn has it, and actually had been the one to tamper with the memory Dumbledore has, which again, Dumbledore highly suspects is what happened.’’

Hermione nodded, but was still frowning, and Harry cocked his head at her in silent question. She shook her head, her brows furrowed, ‘’Why does Dumbledore need the memory when he already knows about the existence of the Horcruxes and also knows how many there are? It just - it doesn’t really make sense to me,’’ Hermione trailed off. 

Harry bit his lip, he had considered the question as well but had never worked up the courage to ask Dumbledore the reason nor had he been able to come up with an answer himself, except, ‘’I guess he still wants the confirmation, even after having destroyed some of the Horcruxes himself. Maybe the bigger part is also that he wants to see if there are any clues as to answer the why or where regarding the Horcruxes. Dumbledore never fully explained it to me, he only told me that it was essential to get the memory from Slughorn,’’ Harry shrugged. 

Harry’s gaze drifted Ron as he spoke up, his mouth full of food, ‘’How were you planning on getting the memory?’’ 

Both Hermione and Harry grimaced at the sight of Ron speaking with his mouth full, before Harry shrugged and answered Ron’s question, ‘’Just ask after the lesson, I guess?’’ Harry said feebly. 

Hermione and Ron looked at him with a raised eyebrow, as if asking him _Are you thick?_ , and Harry sighed, ‘’I know, I know, I’ll find a way.’’ 

Both his friends just kept blankly staring at him, and Harry rolled his eyes, ‘’Trust me,’’ he said, and Harry ran a hand down his face - he needed at least one person to trust him, after all. 

\- 

A few hours later, Harry gathered his belongings into his bag slowly as he waited for the hoard of students to clear out of the Potions classroom. He looked back and caught Hermione’s and Ron’s gazes, both giving him a thumbs up and an encouraging smile, and Harry gave them a small smile back, ignoring the hammering of his heart against his chest. Finally, Harry was left alone in the classroom with Slughorn, who had yet to notice Harry’s lasting presence. Harry fingered the vial in his back pocket, the Felix Felicis that he'd gotten from Slughorn during their first lesson as he'd successfully created his potion, before sighing and retracting his hand from his pocket again - foregoing the use of it, for now. 

When Slughorn still hadn’t noticed Harry’s presence after several minutes of waiting around quietly, hoping to be noticed, Harry softly cleared his throat, making Slughorn jump slightly and turn around - a surprised expression etched on the man’s face. 

‘’I’m sorry, Professor, I didn’t mean to startle you,’’ Harry apologized and Slughorn waved away the apology. Harry wiped his shaking, sweating hands on the sides of his pants, ‘’I just wondered if I could ask you something.’’

Slughorn looked delighted at the thought of Harry seeking answers with him, and the man nodded his head fervently, ‘’Of course, Harry, of course. Tell me, what can I do for you?’’

Harry swallowed, his fingers twitching. 

‘’You see, sir,’’ Harry began, the tampered memory Harry had seen in Dumbledore’s office flashing through his mind as he repeated the words Riddle has spoken to Slughorn years back, ‘’the other day I was in the library, in the restricted section, and I came across something rather odd about a very rare piece of magic. It just got me wondering, are there some kinds of magic you are not allowed to teach us?’’

Harry lifted his gaze to watch Slughorn’s expression. 

‘’I decided to ask you, sir,’’ Harry continued, ‘’because you are not like other professors. They might _misunderstand_ ,’’ Harry emphasised the word with a raise of his eyebrow. 

Slughorn watched him with a blank expression, before he answered, ‘’There is no light without a dark, so it is with magic. Myself, I always strive to live within the light. I suggest you do the same.’’ Slughorn watched Harry for a second more, before he turned around to walk away. 

Harry took a breath, his mind reeling, ‘’Is that what you told Tom Riddle, sir, when he came asking questions?’’ 

Slughorn paused and whirled around, and immediately, Harry felt like slapping himself. He had come to watch his professor’s reaction by repeating what Riddle had said in the memory, not ruin his chances of getting the real memory by outing his motive of asking questions in the first place. 

Harry kept his gaze levelled, on Slughorn, refusing to twitch nervously as the man looked at him with wide eyes. After all, it was too late to back down now. Finally, Slughorn broke the silence. 

‘’Dumbledore put you up to this, didn’t he?’’ Slughorn asked incredulously, ‘’didn’t he?’’

Harry stayed silent, his gaze still on Slughorn. Realizing he wouldn’t get an answer, Slughorn shook his head and whirled around, stalking out of the classroom without another word. 

Harry let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding, running a hand down his face. Well, that definitely went great, he thought to himself while he gathered his bag and walked out of the classroom as well to make his way down to the dorms to get ready for dinner and prepare himself to tell Dumbledore that he had quite possibly, definitely, messed up their chances. 

-

Later that evening, Harry settled in his bed, throwing a few privacy and silencing spells around his bed. He had just come from a meeting with Dumbledore and Snape, and had feigned being tired with his friends, who had gathered in the common room to make the best of the Friday night. 

In all honesty, Harry thought as he reached underneath his pillow to pull out the worn out Advanced Potions book that he had gotten his hands on during the first Potions lesson with Slughorn, he really could use some alone time. And, recently, Harry’s alone time had entailed spending time reading the Advanced Potions Making book - and isn’t that something Harry had never thought of enjoying before. 

Initially, Harry had found the little notes along the printed text of the book annoying, but after some time he had come to appreciate and looked forward to reading the witty and sarcastic comments along the print lines. Moreover, his sudden improvement in Potions as a consequence really couldn’t hurt either. 

And, the book had proved to somehow manage the nightmares that used to frequent Harry’s sleep every night. Not like Harry would admit this out loud and openly, especially not to his friends, all of whom had disapproved of Harry’s obsession with the book (as they called it, Harry wholeheartedly disagreed with the statement). 

Harry shook his head, and opened the book to the page where he had left off to start reading, paying close attention to the short comments in the sidelines, softly letting out a snort every so often. 

Harry flipped the pages, engrossed in the text and comments, before his eyes finally paused on a few scribbles at the top of the page. He traced his fingers along the letters, brow furrowed in confusion. Harry let his gaze run over the letters again; 

_Sectumsempra → For Enemies._

In the few weeks that Harry had had the book, Harry had - aside from the witty comments - encountered some other comments that initially hadn’t made sense to Harry nor had they fitted with the instructions of the Potion explained on the respective pages. Finally, after some practice, Harry had come to find out that the comments had been spells, and, Harry had concluded that these spells had most probably been created by the writer - the Half-Blood Prince, as was stated in the beginning of the book - of the comments themselves. 

Harry was pretty impressed by the fact that the Half-Blood Prince had been able to create these spells, indicating that the Half-Blood Prince had to be a person of intelligence. 

Some of the spells Harry had encountered in the past weeks, he had used and had found the outcomes to be quite humorous to say the least. The first spell he had encountered, Levicorpus, he had used on Ron the same night within their room and Harry had let out a gasp as Ron was lifted up in the air, upside down. After a few seconds, Harry let go of the spell as Ron flailed in panic - and in vain, and watched as Ron sat down - wide eyes meeting his. In a matter of seconds they had been laughing at the scene that had just transpired. The other spells Harry had found, he had used quite frequently afterwards as well, though on other people. 

Harry was able to admit with reluctance that maybe using them so rashly had not been one of his smartest ideas. Though, Harry relented, there hadn’t been any harm done, so really, it wasn’t a problem, right? 

Harry looked back down at the new spell he had encountered, and shrugged. No it wasn’t, he concluded after a second worth of pondering. And, Harry couldn’t wait to use this spell and see what the outcome would be. After all, Harry remembered, all of the spells he had encountered so far had turned out to be amazingly useful. Harry was sure this one was as well. 

He quickly marked the page where he had left off as a yawn escaped his mouth and slid the book back underneath his pillow. Harry settled in his bed, curling into himself. With his fingers still grazing the side of the book, Harry drifted off with a small, peaceful smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading ! I hope you guys liked it, please let me know what you thought about it ! :)
> 
> I will try to be back as soon as possible with a new chapter ! <3


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii loves <3 
> 
> So I wrote this a few days back, but I forgot to upload it, so sorry ! I hope you guys enjoy it, though !  
> It's not the best chapter, but still :) 
> 
>  
> 
> _**Please read the end notes for warnings! Also, I've edited & updated Chapter 18 ever so slightly, as it got brought to my attention that some things were missing in the chapter, so please do read the small change(s) I've made to the chapter ;) Thank you to @/SlytherinIceFaery for bringing it to my attention :)** I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story._

Harry gasped awake, sitting upright in his bed, a hand clutched to his chest in an attempt to calm his beating heart. His clothes and the sheets beneath him were soaked, and Harry grimaced. Fishing his wand from underneath his pillow, Harry quickly cast a Cleaning Charm to get rid of the sweat. 

He put his wand back under his pillow, and ran a hand through his hair with a sigh, slowly laying back down again. 

Harry stared up at the ceiling for a few minutes, eyes tracing the cracks, as he willed himself to go to sleep again. 

_It was just a nightmare_ , he told himself, he had had many of those and he never had any problem falling right back to sleep again. But, for some reason, this nightmare didn’t want to leave him alone. 

His mind kept reminding him of the images that had flashed in front of his closed eyes only moments ago; running through the dark, heart hammering against his chest and a green glow hanging low in the skies. Running from someone. Running to save someone. Panic building within him, his chest constricting. The thought of being too late; too late, he was too late. A shadow of a body falling limply in front of him. But before Harry could see who it was, he’d woken up in a frenzy of panic and sadness. 

Harry shook his head in an attempt to clear it from the images, and, again, minutes ticked by as Harry stared up at the ceiling. His fingers tapped rhythmically along on his chest with the ticking of the clock on his nightstand. The images kept coming back to him, though, and finally, Harry let out a long sigh in defeat. 

He reached beneath his bed and softly removed his Cloak from his trunk, before he quietly slid from his bed - quickly putting on some socks and shoes - and slipped from his dorm; the Cloak safely around him. 

Wandering down the quiet hallways, his mind still filled with the images from his dream. Being so emerged within his own thoughts, Harry hadn’t noticed his feet had taken him down to the Dungeons, until he was met with a brush of cold air and he shivered. 

He wrapped the Cloak tighter around himself, but didn’t stop walking, now fully aware of where he, albeit subconsciously, had been heading. As he approached Snape’s door, though, Harry bit his lip in hesitation before he raised his hand to softly knock on the door. He waited a few moments, but the door went unanswered and Harry knocked once more, a bit harder. Again, the door went unanswered and a flash of disappointment went through Harry’s chest. Harry frowned and went to walk away, before a muffled crash behind the door made him swiftly turn around, again.

Swallowing, Harry approached the door and turned the handle - surprised when it clicked open; _Snape’s wards recognized him?_ , but Harry shook his head, deciding that thought was something to deal with later. He couldn’t deny the warm feeling that settled deep within his chest at the thought, though. 

Harry reached for his wand, cursing himself when he remembered he had left it in his room. _Well, so much for protection_ , Harry thought, as he creeped further into the living room, having closed the door behind him with a soft click - _well, at least he was invisible_ , Harry thought, his fingers curling around the fabric of the Cloak. 

He gazed around the living room and saw a lamp on the floor, broken, having fallen from the coffee table - which had also fallen on its side - next to the chair Harry knew Snape enjoyed sitting in. _That must have been the crash,_ Harry thought, _but where was Severus?_

Harry made his way to the kitchen, his head cautiously poking inside. Upon finding that empty as well, Harry continued down to Snape’s lab, but found also that room to be empty. 

Frowning, he softly padded towards Snape’s bedroom, his hand clenching around the Cloak. Behind the door to Snape’s room, he heard the distinct sound of shuffling and Harry readied himself, taking a deep breath, before he opened the door softly - grimacing at the small squeak it let out. 

He peeked his head inside only for his eyes to fall on the Professor sitting on the ground, his back hunched as his arm was wound around his waist. His breath was coming out in pained gasps, and his shoulders shook. 

Harry gasped, donning the Cloak quickly before he ran over to kneel in front of his Professor, who looked up at him in surprise, but not even trying to hide the pain that was visible in his eyes. 

‘’Severus,’’ Harry whispered, his hand coming up to rest against the man’s cheek, gently as if he believed the older man would break if Harry would put too much pressure against his skin. Severus inhaled sharply at the touch, before he leaned into the touch with a small sob. 

Harry pulled the man’s face into his chest, shushing him softly in an attempt to calm the tears that were escaping him. Harry whispered comfortingly into Severus' hair, his fingers stroking gently at the nape of the man's neck. 

After a few moments, Severus pulled away with a surreptitious sniffle, and a pained gasp sounded from the man as he looked down at where his arm was still wound around his waist. 

Harry curled his hand around Severus’ arm, gently untangling the arm from around the man’s waist and he could see a dark spot on Severus’ shirt. He swallowed, hoping to Merlin that it wasn’t what he thought it was. But, the only way to know for sure, was for Severus to remove his shirt, and Harry swallowed again. 

He met Severus’ gaze as he reached his trembling fingers up to the first button of Severus’ shirt, silently asking permission. Severus only watched him for a few moments, and Harry flushed under the gaze - not even sure as to why, he wasn’t even going to do anything, except get a look at Severus’ injuries (and maybe peek a look at the man’ chest, but whatever, Severus didn’t need to know that). 

Finally, Severus nodded once, and Harry bit his lip as he undid the buttons of Severus’ shirt, slowly and gently pushing the fabric away from the man’s shoulders when it was fully opened. 

Harry’s gaze immediately trailed down the length of Severus’ chest. He took in the hair that was dusted across the pale skin, the scars that littered across it; some small, some bigger, others light and others more visible. Severus cleared his throat, and Harry snapped his eyes up to meet onyx eyes watching him, gaze dark and pained, a flicker of amusement and something else - _insecurity?_ \- behind the gaze. 

‘’Sorry,’’ Harry whispered, only sounding slightly apologetic - the man was hurt, and here Harry was, ogling him; _get a grip, Harry._

He turned his eyes to Severus’ side, where he had seen the spot on his shirt. Harry’s eye fell on several deep gashes on the man’s left side, and Harry gasped again - his fingers twitching to reach out. It looked like an animal had set its claws in Severus' skin, refusing to let go, instead tearing up the skin as much as possible. Harry had the inkling that it had been Voldemort's torture that Severus had fallen victim to, and Harry wondered distinctly how the man had even made it back with his left side almost falling from his body. 

Severus’ voice snapped him from his thoughts, ‘’Bathroom,’’ he rasped out, and Harry looked at Severus with a questioning gaze. 

‘’Underneath the sink,’’ Severus breathed, his voice pained, ‘’first-aid kit.’’ 

Harry nodded and quickly rushed to the bathroom, rushing back when he found what he needed. He kneeled next to Severus again, helping him up and instructing him to lay down on the bed, and Harry settled next to him. 

Harry poured some disinfectant on a small piece of cloth, ‘’This might sting,’’ he warned Severus softly, before he gently wiped the cloth down the length of the gashes, his chest clenching at the pained gasps and whimpers leaving Severus’ mouth. 

‘’What happened?,’’ Harry whispered after a few minutes, immediately regretting it when he felt Severus’ body freeze beneath his hands. Harry went to apologize, but a sigh from Severus cut him off. 

‘’The Dark Lord happened,’’ Severus gritted out, confirming Harry's previous suspicions, as Harry wiped away some of the blood from around the gashes, ‘’I neglected the task of providing him more information, so he made sure that I wouldn’t next time.’’

Harry’s hand tightened in anger on Severus’ side, _fucking Voldemort_ , and Severus gasped in pain. Harry let his hand relax from the hold, apologizing profusely. His hand squeezed Severus’ in a last apology, before he went back to wiping down the gashes. 

As he wiped down the last of the gashes, Harry softly blew across the skin to ease the remaining sting of the disinfectant - revelling in Severus’ small shiver with a small smirk - before he wrapped the wound up with the bandage. 

‘’You should see Poppy in the morning,’’ Harry told Severus, as he put the items on the nightstand. He watched as Severus nodded tiredly, his face nuzzling into his pillow, and Harry smiled fondly at the rare sight. 

He stood from the bed, gently taking the comforter out from beneath Severus. He helped Severus readjust on the bed, watching as the man’s eyes drooped, then dragged the comforter across the man’s body to tuck him in. 

Harry let his hand linger on top of the comforter for a few moments, his gaze resting on Severus’ face - his eyes closed, breath evening out. He traced Severus’ cheek with the tips of his fingers, smiled and turned. 

Fingers curled around his wrist, making him pause, and Harry turned to see Severus looking at him with tired, hooded eyes. The fingers around his wrist tightened slightly, as if they were scared of Harry shrugging them off and walking away, and Severus dropped his eyes from their locked gaze - almost in a shy gesture. 

The fingers also dropped from Harry’s wrist, making Harry’s arm fall limply against his side. Harry had to refrain from voicing his disappointment at the loss of the touch, only barely catching himself. 

‘’Stay,’’ Severus whispered, almost imperceptibly, ‘’please.’’

Harry’s breath hitched, and he froze for a few moments. He watched as Severus twitched nervously, his fingers playing with the edge of the comforter - so unlike the Severus Snape everyone, including Harry, knew and saw. 

With a beating heart, Harry made his way around the bed. He lifted the comforter, quietly sliding beneath it - his body stiff. 

They both lay frozen and tensed, until Severus reached his fingers across the space between them to hesitatingly brush against Harry’s, and Harry fought a smile, slightly relaxing into the mattress beneath him. 

He shifted closer to the older man, their sides brushing as he reached a hand out to brush his fingers through Severus’ hair. He heard Severus sigh, the man’s body relaxing next to him ever so subtly, and Harry closed his eyes. He felt the beating of Severus’ heart against his side, and felt relieved at the way it seemed to be just as fast as his own. Almost subconsciously, Harry started humming comfortingly, all the while his fingers brushed through Severus' long locks. 

As Severus drifted off, Harry heard the whispered, ‘’Thank you,’’ and - impulsively - he reached down to brush a soft kiss against the man’s head. 

Slowly, they both drifted off into a dreamless sleep; both feeling peaceful and safe, together, for a moment in time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Warning(s): there's some bedsharing between Harry & Severus, and some brushing touches; but nothing really happens._
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, I hope you guys enjoyed it, even though it wasn't my best writing haha <3  
> Please let me know what you thought about it! xx
> 
>  
> 
> _Kudos and comments highly appreciated <3 _


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